Of the handful of fast days on the Jewish calendar, Shivah Asar b’Tammuz (the seventeenth day of the month of Tammuz) offers the best metaphor for anxiety. But why?

Shivah Asar b’Tammuz is a fast day commemorating, among other things, the breach of the walls of Jerusalem by invaders that led to the destruction of the Second Temple in Jerusalem on Tisha B’av.

Jerusalem’s walls may feel like a far-off historical artifact, but those walls and their destruction are actually deeply relevant to our lives — and our mental wellness — in two critical ways.

Walls offer security. The walls in our lives serve as the boundaries we set between ourselves and people/things that can harm us, or that can influence us in negative ways. They can also be the routines we maintain to keep us grounded — a regularly scheduled break, a meeting with a friend, a time block dedicated to self-care, or spending time with a person who makes us feel safe and heard. When either of these boundaries are violated by the person we set the boundary for, or the task that keeps us grounded is taken away from us, the sudden anxiety of that vulnerability can be debilitating.

Walls offer identity. Without walls, Jerusalem was a collection of structures, lacking any concrete shape or boundaries. Similarly, we have parts of ourselves that define who we are, what our purpose is and where we belong. When we are deprived of the things that make us feel whole or give us orientation, direction or a sense of belonging, that uncertainty can induce anxiety.

Shivah Asar b’Tammuz commemorates the loss of the walls that protected and identified our people and city in antiquity. But it can also be a time to reflect on the walls that protect and identify us now and those we have lost. For the walls we still have, we should consider how we can fortify them to ensure we don’t lose them. If we’re talking about a person, how can we let them know how important they are to us? And for the ones we’ve lost or might lose, what can we do to build resilience so, like the Jewish people for the past 2000 years, we survive the experience despite the hardships?

Shivah Asar b’Tammuz is the first day of what Jewish tradition calls, “the three weeks,” referring to the three weeks leading up to Tisha B’Av. That period is considered to be an auspicious time associated with various mourning practices. However, the Lubavitcher Rebbe encouraged Jews to study the laws of the Temple over the course of these three weeks, inspired by the idea that we should live with hope for a future where we’ll be able to practice them again. Similarly, we should spend these three weeks thinking about and nurturing the walls of our lives.

Consider the following guidelines.

Think about the parts of your life that make you feel safe and grounded. Some probably come to mind immediately, but you might also rely on a few you don’t always notice. Take stock of those items, and make each a “building block” in your walls.

Once you’ve identified your building blocks, consider three or more of them that could use some “reinforcing.” If it’s a person, what can you do to let them know how much they mean to you? You can write them a letter, buy them a coffee, or just thank them — anything that communicates how much they matter to you. If it’s a routine, ask yourself if there are parts of your life that have been encroaching on that time and what you can do to either minimize that encroachment or adjust your schedule to give this part of your life the full time it deserves.

You don’t always want to acknowledge it, but unfortunately walls can fall. We face moments of vulnerability and anxiety that can actually offer opportunities for growth, but the initial anxiety can be so overwhelming that we can’t take advantage of it. Below are some techniques for managing acute moments of anxiety and daily grounding exercises to help you maintain a sense of calm as you rebuild your walls.

Guide: Identify five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell and one you can taste. Move through each sense slowly and deliberately, focusing your full attention on each.

Guide: Hold a small object (like a stone or coin) and notice everything about it—its texture, temperature, weight and shape. Let your mind rest on the object, using it as an anchor to the here and now.

Guide: Sit comfortably, place a hand on your stomach, and inhale deeply through your nose, letting your belly rise. Exhale slowly through your mouth for a few minutes, keeping your breath relaxed and steady, feeling your body move and centering yourself around it. Repeat this motion until you return to a state of calm.

Consider the following prompts:

Reflect on past challenges and how you overcame them—what helped, what you learned and how you grew stronger.

Write down the kind, reassuring words you’d offer someone else, and consider how those same words might apply to you.

Focus on a source of steadiness or comfort—a person, routine or inner quality—that reminds you you’re not adrift.

This prompt reinforces resilience by helping you recognize your strength in overcoming difficulties.

Focusing on small moments of joy nurtures gratitude and shifts attention away from negativity.

Reflecting on learning promotes growth, curiosity and a sense of purpose.