Save "Your Guide to “Arguments for the Sake of Heaven”"
Your Guide to “Arguments for the Sake of Heaven”
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In Jewish tradition, arguments with a shared goal are holy and called “arguments for the sake of heaven!”
(יז) כָּל מַחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁהִיא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, סוֹפָהּ לְהִתְקַיֵּם. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, אֵין סוֹפָהּ לְהִתְקַיֵּם. אֵיזוֹ הִיא מַחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁהִיא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, זוֹ מַחֲלֹקֶת הִלֵּל וְשַׁמַּאי. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, זוֹ מַחֲלֹקֶת קֹרַח וְכָל עֲדָתוֹ:
(17) Every dispute that is for the sake of Heaven, will in the end endure; But one that is not for the sake of Heaven, will not endure. Which is the controversy that is for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Hillel and Shammai. And which is the controversy that is not for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Korah and all his congregation.
Commenting on this Mishnah, the 16th-century rabbinic scholar, Bartenura, explained,
כָּל מַחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁהִיא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם סוֹפָהּ לְהִתְקַיֵּם. כְּלוֹמַר שֶׁאַנְשֵׁי הַמַּחֲלֹקֶת הַהִיא מִתְקַיְּמִים וְאֵינָם אוֹבְדִין, כְּמַחֲלֹקֶת הִלֵּל וְשַׁמַּאי שֶׁלֹּא אָבְדוּ לֹא תַּלְמִידֵי בֵּית שַׁמַּאי וְלֹא תַּלְמִידֵי בֵּית הִלֵּל. אֲבָל קֹרַח וַעֲדָתוֹ אָבְדוּ. וַאֲנִי שָׁמַעְתִּי, פֵּרוּשׁ סוֹפָהּ, תַּכְלִיתָהּ הַמְבֻקָּשׁ מֵעִנְיָנָהּ. וְהַמַּחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁהִיא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, הַתַּכְלִית וְהַסּוֹף הַמְבֻקָּשׁ מֵאוֹתָהּ מַחֲלֹקֶת לְהַשִּׂיג הָאֱמֶת, וְזֶה מִתְקַיֵּם, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ מִתּוֹךְ הַוִּכּוּחַ יִתְבָּרֵר הָאֱמֶת, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר בְּמַחֲלֹקֶת הִלֵּל וְשַׁמַּאי שֶׁהֲלָכָה כְּבֵית הִלֵּל. וּמַחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁאֵינָהּ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, תַּכְלִית הַנִּרְצֶה בָּהּ הִיא בַּקָּשַׁת הַשְּׂרָרָה וְאַהֲבַת הַנִּצּוּחַ, וְזֶה הַסּוֹף אֵינוֹ מִתְקַיֵּם, כְּמוֹ שֶׁמָּצִינוּ בְּמַחֲלֹקֶת קֹרַח וַעֲדָתוֹ שֶׁתַּכְלִית וְסוֹף כַּוָּנָתָם הָיְתָה בַּקָּשַׁת הַכָּבוֹד וְהַשְּׂרָרָה וְהָיוּ לְהֶפֶךְ:
Every argument that is for [the sake of] heaven's name, it is destined (literally, its end is) to endure: That is to say that the [parties to] the argument are destined to endure and not perish, as with the argument between Hillel and Shammai, [whereby] neither the students of the School of Hillel nor the students of the School of Shammai perished. But Korach and his congregation perished. And I heard the explanation of “its end” is its purpose that is sought from its subject. And [with] the argument which is for the sake of Heaven, the purpose and aim that is sought from that argument is to arrive at the truth, and this endures; like that which they said, "From a dispute the truth will be clarified," and as it became elucidated from the argument between Hillel and Shammai - that the law was like the school of Hillel. And [with] argument which is not for the sake of Heaven, its desired purpose is to achieve power and the love of contention, and its end will not endure; as we found in the argument of Korach and his congregation - that their aim and ultimate intent was to achieve honor and power, and the opposite was [achieved].
Engaging in spirited debate conveys that both sides believe in the goal and care enough to fight for it. But shared goals don’t always mean constructive conversations, and a destructive conversation can have negative ramifications on your mental health. The Talmud is replete with descriptions of spirited debates between chavrutot (learning partners), some of which serve as models for how we can benefit from healthy, spirited debate. In Tractate Ta’anit, the sages offer reflections on Torah study and the need for a chavruta. For example:
אָמַר רַבִּי חָמָא בְּרַבִּי חֲנִינָא, מַאי דִּכְתִיב: ״בַּרְזֶל בְּבַרְזֶל יָחַד״, לוֹמַר לָךְ: מָה בַּרְזֶל זֶה — אֶחָד מְחַדֵּד אֶת חֲבֵירוֹ, אַף שְׁנֵי תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים — מְחַדְּדִין זֶה אֶת זֶה בַּהֲלָכָה. אָמַר רַבָּה בַּר בַּר חָנָה: לָמָּה נִמְשְׁלוּ דִּבְרֵי תוֹרָה כָּאֵשׁ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״הֲלֹא כֹה דְבָרִי כָּאֵשׁ נְאֻם ה׳״, לוֹמַר לָךְ: מָה אֵשׁ אֵינוֹ דּוֹלֵק יְחִידִי, אַף דִּבְרֵי תוֹרָה אֵין מִתְקַיְּימִין בִּיחִידִי. וְהַיְינוּ דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בַּר חֲנִינָא, מַאי דִּכְתִיב: ״חֶרֶב אֶל הַבַּדִּים וְנֹאָלוּ״, חֶרֶב עַל שׂוֹנְאֵיהֶן שֶׁל תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים שֶׁעוֹסְקִין בַּד בְּבַד בַּתּוֹרָה. וְלֹא עוֹד אֶלָּא שֶׁמִּטַּפְּשִׁין, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וְנֹאָלוּ״.
The Gemara cites other expositions that deal with Torah study. Rabbi Ḥama, son of Rabbi Ḥanina, said: What is the meaning of that which is written: “Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17)? This verse comes to tell you that just as with these iron implements, one sharpens the other when they are rubbed against each other, so too, when Torah scholars study together, they sharpen one another in halakha. Rabba bar bar Ḥana said: Why are matters of Torah compared to fire, as it is stated: “Is not My word like fire, says the Lord” (Jeremiah 23:29)? To tell you: Just as fire does not ignite in a lone stick of wood but in a pile of kindling, so too, matters of Torah are not retained and understood properly by a lone scholar who studies by himself, but by a group of Sages. And this is what Rabbi Yosei bar Ḥanina said: What is the meaning of that which is written: “A sword is upon the boasters [habaddim], and they shall become fools [noalu]” (Jeremiah 50:36)? This verse can be interpreted homiletically: There is a sword upon the enemies of Torah scholars, a euphemism for Torah scholars themselves, who sit alone [bad bevad] and study Torah. And not only that, but those who study by themselves grow foolish from their solitary Torah study, as it is stated: “And they shall become fools.”
The sages emphasize the impact of caring, goal-oriented debate on participants’ growth. But there are also stories in the Talmud that present models of unhealthy and destructive dynamics which lead to tragedy.
One of the Talmud’s most famous learning partners was Rabbi Yohanon and Reish Lakish, who began learning together after the former convinced the latter to leave a life of crime and become a scholar. Their relationship came to a tragic end, which the Talmud attributes to Rabbi Yohanon’s emotional insensitivity, as he taunted Reish Lakish about his past life as a criminal. On one occasion during one halachic discussion about weaponry, Rabbi Yohanon referenced Reish Lakish’s expertise on weapons given his — upsetting Reish Lakish.
וּמֵאֵימָתַי גְּמַר מְלַאכְתָּן? רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אוֹמֵר: מִשֶּׁיְּצָרְפֵם בַּכִּבְשָׁן. רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ אָמַר: מִשֶּׁיְּצַחְצְחֵן בְּמַיִם. אֲמַר לֵיהּ לִסְטָאָה בְּלִסְטְיוּתֵיהּ יָדַע. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: וּמַאי אַהֲנֵית לִי? הָתָם ״רַבִּי״ קָרוּ לִי, הָכָא ״רַבִּי״ קָרוּ לִי! אֲמַר לֵיהּ: אַהֲנַאי לָךְ דַּאֲקָרְבִינָּךְ תַּחַת כַּנְפֵי הַשְּׁכִינָה.
These Sages inquired: And when is the completion of their manufacture? Rabbi Yoḥanan says: It is from when one fires these items in the furnace. Reish Lakish said: It is from when one scours them in water, after they have been fired in the furnace. Rabbi Yoḥanan said to Reish Lakish: A bandit knows about his banditry, i.e., you are an expert in weaponry because you were a bandit in your youth. Reish Lakish said to Rabbi Yoḥanan: What benefit did you provide me by bringing me close to Torah? There, among the bandits, they called me: Leader of the bandits, and here, too, they call me: Leader of the bandits. Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: I provided benefit to you, as I brought you close to God, under the wings of the Divine Presence.
On its own, a minor insult wouldn’t reflect emotional insensitivity. It could have even been a learning moment for Rabbi Yohanan, had he taken the time to understand Reish Lakish’s feelings. Instead, Rabbi Yohanan deflected with a tongue-in-cheek response, failing to acknowledge his friend’s pain — a moment that would deeply wound them both and lead to Reish Lakish falling ill and dying.
חֲלַשׁ דַּעְתֵּיהּ דְּרַבִּי יוֹחָנָן, חֲלַשׁ רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ. אֲתַאי אֲחָתֵיהּ קָא בָכְיָא.
As a result of the quarrel, Rabbi Yoḥanan was offended, which in turn affected Reish Lakish, who fell ill.
This story reflects what modern psychology also affirms: mental anguish, when intense, can affect physical health. And here, the consequences were tragic. But the story’s ultimate conclusion is even more tragic, because it highlights what is really at stake when we approach dialogue and collaboration carelessly: true connection. Once Reish Lakish passed away, Rabbi Yohanan was assigned a new chavruta, but nobody could replace his old friend, whose skillful debate made Rabbi Yohanan’s own skills sharper and their relationship deeper.
אֲזַל יְתֵיב קַמֵּיהּ. כֹּל מִילְּתָא דַּהֲוָה אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אֲמַר לֵיהּ: תַּנְיָא דִּמְסַיְּיעָא לָךְ. אֲמַר: אַתְּ כְּבַר לְקִישָׁא?! בַּר לְקִישָׁא, כִּי הֲוָה אָמֵינָא מִילְּתָא, הֲוָה מַקְשֵׁי לִי עֶשְׂרִין וְאַרְבַּע קוּשְׁיָיתָא, וּמְפָרְקִינָא לֵיהּ עֶשְׂרִין וְאַרְבְּעָה פֵּרוּקֵי, וּמִמֵּילָא רָוְוחָא שְׁמַעְתָּא. וְאַתְּ אָמְרַתְּ: ״תַּנְיָא דִּמְסַיַּיע לָךְ״, אַטּוּ לָא יָדַעְנָא דְּשַׁפִּיר קָאָמֵינָא?
Rabbi Elazar ben Pedat went and sat before Rabbi Yoḥanan. With regard to every matter that Rabbi Yoḥanan would say, Rabbi Elazar ben Pedat would say to him: There is a ruling which is taught in a baraita that supports your opinion. Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: Are you comparable to the son of Lakish? In my discussions with the son of Lakish, when I would state a matter, he would raise twenty-four difficulties against me in an attempt to disprove my claim, and I would answer him with twenty-four answers, and the halakha by itself would become broadened and clarified. And yet you say to me: There is a ruling which is taught in a baraita that supports your opinion. Do I not know that what I say is good? Being rebutted by Reish Lakish served a purpose; your bringing proof to my statements does not.
With his anguish over the loss of Reish Lakish, Rabbi Yohanan passed away. While the benefits of dialogue are reasonably intuitive, one must recognize the dangers of destructive and thoughtless dialogue, even when discussing issues that are objectively positive. Had the two of them thought more deeply about how they engaged with one another, this tragedy could have been avoided.
Debate remains central to Jewish life and learning — but so too must sensitivity. Here are three tips to ensure your arguments for the sake of heaven stay that way.

1. Be aware of your biases.

It’s impossible to be completely objective. The best communicators can work with and around their own thoughts and beliefs rather than ignore them.

2. Manage and care for your emotions.

Difficult conversations come with many emotions that can affect us in different ways without us realizing it. Without taking the time to check in with your feelings and having the space to ask for a pause, we can walk away from conversations hurt — regardless of the conclusion that’s reached. Be cognizant of the language you use and the manner you speak in, avoiding any triggers you might not be thinking about. Sharing our emotions as well as validating those of others maintains a healthy and productive atmosphere.

3. Set expectations.

Charged topics can be hard to talk about. Disagreement is necessary for growth, but we can get lost in our arguments and make mistakes. We may say the wrong thing or misremember something, but if you care for one another, you need to recognize that possibility and make space for mistakes. It’s okay to say “I want to discuss something important, but I might not be as clear as I want to be, or I may make a mistake.” Feeling safe takes off some of the pressure to be perfect and say how you feel.
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