(יב) כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־ה' אֱלֹקֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃ (ס)
(12) Honor your father and your mother, that you may long endure on the land that the LORD your God is assigning to you.
ת"ר שלשה שותפין הן באדם הקב"ה ואביו ואמו בזמן שאדם מכבד את אביו ואת אמו אמר הקב"ה מעלה אני עליהם כאילו דרתי ביניהם וכבדוני
As the Sages taught: There are three partners in the forming of a person: The Holy Blessed One, who provides the soul, and the father and mother. When a person honors their father and mother, the Holy Blessed One, says: I ascribe credit to them as if I dwelt between them and they honor Me as well.
What does Kiddushin 30b assert about the gravity of the commandment to honor one's parents?
כי אתא רב דימי אמר פעם אחת היה לבוש סירקון של זהב והיה יושב בין גדולי רומי ובאתה אמו וקרעתו ממנו וטפחה לו על ראשו וירקה לו בפניו ולא הכלימה
When Rav Dimi came from Eretz Yisrael to Babylonia, he said: Once Dama ben Netina was wearing a fine cloak [sirkon] of gold, and was sitting among the nobles of Rome. And his mother came to him and tore his garment from him and smacked him on the head and spat in his face, and yet he did not embarrass her.
1. Why might his mother behave this way?
2. Does it make a difference that they're in public?
3. What do you think of Dama b. Netina's response? What might you advise in this situation?
(י) מִי שֶׁנִּטְרְפָה דַּעְתּוֹ שֶׁל אָבִיו אוֹ שֶׁל אִמּוֹ מִשְׁתַּדֵּל לִנְהֹג עִמָּהֶם כְּפִי דַּעְתָּם עַד שֶׁיְּרֻחַם עֲלֵיהֶן. וְאִם אִי אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לַעֲמֹד מִפְּנֵי שֶׁנִּשְׁתַּטּוּ בְּיוֹתֵר יְנִיחֵם וְיֵלֵךְ לוֹ וִיצַוֶּה אֲחֵרִים לְהַנְהִיגָם כָּרָאוּי לָהֶם:
One whose father or mother has had their "mind torn away" must care for them and behave according to the parent's mental condition until God has mercy upon them. If it is impossible for the child to stand before the parent because they cannot be compassionate, they should go and charge others with appropriate care for them [the parent].
ת"ש שאלו את ר"א עד היכן כיבוד אב ואם אמר להם כדי שיטול ארנקי ויזרקנו לים בפניו ואינו מכלימו
Come and hear: They asked Rabbi Eliezer how far one must go in honoring their father and mother. Rabbi Eliezer said to them: Such that if a parent takes a wallet and throws it into the sea in front of their child, then the child does not embarrass the parent.
1. Whose wallet is it? How does that affect the fulfillment of honoring one's parent?
2. What do you think a child's financial obligations should be to their parents? How does personal wealth play into this question?