Save "HL Shiur: The Relationship between Teshuvah and Tochechah - Shabbat Shuva 5785"
HL Shiur: The Relationship between Teshuvah and Tochechah - Shabbat Shuva 5785

Is there a mitzvah to do Teshuvah?

(א) וְהָיָה֩ כִֽי־יָבֹ֨אוּ עָלֶ֜יךָ כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֗לֶּה הַבְּרָכָה֙ וְהַקְּלָלָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר נָתַ֖תִּי לְפָנֶ֑יךָ וַהֲשֵׁבֹתָ֙ אֶל־לְבָבֶ֔ךָ בְּכׇ֨ל־הַגּוֹיִ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֧ר הִדִּיחֲךָ֛ ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֖יךָ שָֽׁמָּה׃ (ב) וְשַׁבְתָּ֞ עַד־ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֙יךָ֙ וְשָׁמַעְתָּ֣ בְקֹל֔וֹ כְּכֹ֛ל אֲשֶׁר־אָנֹכִ֥י מְצַוְּךָ֖ הַיּ֑וֹם אַתָּ֣ה וּבָנֶ֔יךָ בְּכׇל־לְבָבְךָ֖ וּבְכׇל־נַפְשֶֽׁךָ׃ (ג) וְשָׁ֨ב ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֛יךָ אֶת־שְׁבוּתְךָ֖ וְרִחֲמֶ֑ךָ וְשָׁ֗ב וְקִבֶּצְךָ֙ מִכׇּל־הָ֣עַמִּ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֧ר הֱפִֽיצְךָ֛ ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֖יךָ שָֽׁמָּה׃ (ד) אִם־יִהְיֶ֥ה נִֽדַּחֲךָ֖ בִּקְצֵ֣ה הַשָּׁמָ֑יִם מִשָּׁ֗ם יְקַבֶּצְךָ֙ ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֔יךָ וּמִשָּׁ֖ם יִקָּחֶֽךָ׃ (ה) וֶהֱבִיאֲךָ֞ ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֗יךָ אֶל־הָאָ֛רֶץ אֲשֶׁר־יָרְשׁ֥וּ אֲבֹתֶ֖יךָ וִֽירִשְׁתָּ֑הּ וְהֵיטִֽבְךָ֥ וְהִרְבְּךָ֖ מֵאֲבֹתֶֽיךָ׃ (ו) וּמָ֨ל ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֛יךָ אֶת־לְבָבְךָ֖ וְאֶת־לְבַ֣ב זַרְעֶ֑ךָ לְאַהֲבָ֞ה אֶת־ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֛יךָ בְּכׇל־לְבָבְךָ֥ וּבְכׇל־נַפְשְׁךָ֖ לְמַ֥עַן חַיֶּֽיךָ׃ (ז) וְנָתַן֙ ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֔יךָ אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הָאָל֖וֹת הָאֵ֑לֶּה עַל־אֹיְבֶ֥יךָ וְעַל־שֹׂנְאֶ֖יךָ אֲשֶׁ֥ר רְדָפֽוּךָ׃ (ח) וְאַתָּ֣ה תָשׁ֔וּב וְשָׁמַעְתָּ֖ בְּק֣וֹל ה׳ וְעָשִׂ֙יתָ֙ אֶת־כׇּל־מִצְוֺתָ֔יו אֲשֶׁ֛ר אָנֹכִ֥י מְצַוְּךָ֖ הַיּֽוֹם׃ (ט) וְהוֹתִֽירְךָ֩ ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֜יךָ בְּכֹ֣ל ׀ מַעֲשֵׂ֣ה יָדֶ֗ךָ בִּפְרִ֨י בִטְנְךָ֜ וּבִפְרִ֧י בְהֶמְתְּךָ֛ וּבִפְרִ֥י אַדְמָתְךָ֖ לְטֹבָ֑ה כִּ֣י ׀ יָשׁ֣וּב ה׳ לָשׂ֤וּשׂ עָלֶ֙יךָ֙ לְט֔וֹב כַּאֲשֶׁר־שָׂ֖שׂ עַל־אֲבֹתֶֽיךָ׃ (י) כִּ֣י תִשְׁמַ֗ע בְּקוֹל֙ ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֔יךָ לִשְׁמֹ֤ר מִצְוֺתָיו֙ וְחֻקֹּתָ֔יו הַכְּתוּבָ֕ה בְּסֵ֥פֶר הַתּוֹרָ֖ה הַזֶּ֑ה כִּ֤י תָשׁוּב֙ אֶל־ה׳ אֱלֹקֶ֔יךָ בְּכׇל־לְבָבְךָ֖ וּבְכׇל־נַפְשֶֽׁךָ׃ {ס} (יא) כִּ֚י הַמִּצְוָ֣ה הַזֹּ֔את אֲשֶׁ֛ר אָנֹכִ֥י מְצַוְּךָ֖ הַיּ֑וֹם לֹא־נִפְלֵ֥את הִוא֙ מִמְּךָ֔ וְלֹ֥א רְחֹקָ֖ה הִֽוא׃ (יב) לֹ֥א בַשָּׁמַ֖יִם הִ֑וא לֵאמֹ֗ר מִ֣י יַעֲלֶה־לָּ֤נוּ הַשָּׁמַ֙יְמָה֙ וְיִקָּחֶ֣הָ לָּ֔נוּ וְיַשְׁמִעֵ֥נוּ אֹתָ֖הּ וְנַעֲשֶֽׂנָּה׃ (יג) וְלֹא־מֵעֵ֥בֶר לַיָּ֖ם הִ֑וא לֵאמֹ֗ר מִ֣י יַעֲבׇר־לָ֜נוּ אֶל־עֵ֤בֶר הַיָּם֙ וְיִקָּחֶ֣הָ לָּ֔נוּ וְיַשְׁמִעֵ֥נוּ אֹתָ֖הּ וְנַעֲשֶֽׂנָּה׃ (יד) כִּֽי־קָר֥וֹב אֵלֶ֛יךָ הַדָּבָ֖ר מְאֹ֑ד בְּפִ֥יךָ וּבִֽלְבָבְךָ֖ לַעֲשֹׂתֽוֹ׃ {ס}

(1) When all these things befall you—the blessing and the curse that I have set before you—and you take them to heart amidst the various nations to which your God ה׳ has banished you, (2) and you return to your God ה׳, and you and your children heed God’s command with all your heart and soul, just as I enjoin upon you this day, (3) then your God ה׳ will restore your fortunes*fortunes Others “captivity.” and take you back in love.*and take you back in love More precisely, “take you in; restore your standing.” The image is of a (typically male) householder, who has the authority to determine the standing of his household’s members, especially as heirs. Cf. Hos. 1.6; 2.6; 2.25; 14.4; Isa. 54.8; Ps. 103.13. See the Dictionary under “householder.” [God] will bring you together again from all the peoples where your God ה׳ has scattered you. (4) Even if your outcasts are at the ends of the world,*world Lit. “sky.” from there your God ה׳ will gather you, from there [God] will fetch you. (5) And your God ה׳ will bring you to the land that your fathers possessed, and you shall possess it; and [God] will make you more prosperous and more numerous than your ancestors. (6) Then your God ה׳ will open up*open up Others “circumcise.” your heart and the hearts of your offspring—to love your God ה׳ with all your heart and soul, in order that you may live. (7) Your God ה׳ will inflict all those curses upon the enemies and foes who persecuted you. (8) You, however, will again heed ה׳ and obey all the divine commandments that I enjoin upon you this day. (9) And your God ה׳ will grant you abounding prosperity in all your undertakings, in your issue from the womb, the offspring of your cattle, and your produce from the soil. For ה׳ will again delight in your well-being as in that of your ancestors, (10) since you will be heeding your God ה׳ and keeping the divine commandments and laws that are recorded in this book of the Teaching—once you return to your God ה׳ with all your heart and soul. (11) Surely, this Instruction which I enjoin upon you this day is not too baffling for you, nor is it beyond reach. (12) It is not in the heavens, that you should say, “Who among us can go up to the heavens and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” (13) Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who among us can cross to the other side of the sea and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” (14) No, the thing is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to observe it.
(א) וְטַעַם כִּי הַמִּצְוָה הַזֹּאת, עַל כָּל הַתּוֹרָה כֻּלָּהּ. וְהַנָּכוֹן כִּי עַל כָּל הַתּוֹרָה יֹאמַר (דברים ח':א'), כָּל הַמִּצְוָה אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם, אֲבָל הַמִּצְוָה הַזֹּאת, עַל הַתְּשׁוּבָה הַנִּזְכֶּרֶת, כִּי וַהֲשֵׁבֹתָ אֶל לְבָבֶךָ (דברים ל':א') וְשַׁבְתָּ עַד ה׳ אֱלֹקֶיךָ (דברים ל':ב'), מִצְוָה שֶׁיְּצַוֶּה אוֹתָנוּ לַעֲשׂוֹת כֵּן. וְנֶאֶמְרָה בַּלָּשׁוֹן הַבֵּינוֹנִי, לִרְמֹז בַּהַבְטָחָה כִּי עָתִיד הַדָּבָר לִהְיוֹת כֵּן. וְהַטַּעַם לֵאמֹר כִּי אִם יִהְיֶה נִדַּחֲךָ בִּקְצֵה הַשָּׁמָיִם וְאַתָּה בְּיַד הָעַמִּים, תּוּכַל לָשׁוּב אֶל ה׳ וְלַעֲשׂוֹת כְּכֹל אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם, כִּי אֵין הַדָּבָר נִפְלָא וְרָחוֹק מִמְּךָ אֲבָל קָרוֹב אֵלֶיךָ מְאֹד לַעֲשׂוֹתוֹ בְּכָל עֵת וּבְכָל מָקוֹם. וְזֶה טַעַם בְּפִיךָ וּבִלְבָבְךָ לַעֲשׂוֹתוֹ, שֶׁיִּתְוַדּוּ אֶת עֲוֹנָם וְאֶת עֲוֹן אֲבֹתָם בְּפִיהֶם, וְיָשׁוּבוּ בְּלִבָּם אֶל ה׳, וִיקַבְּלוּ עֲלֵיהֶם הַיּוֹם הַתּוֹרָה לַעֲשׂוֹתָהּ לְדוֹרוֹת, כַּאֲשֶׁר הִזְכִּיר (דברים ל':ב'), אַתָּה וּבָנֶיךָ בְּכָל לְבָבְךָ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁפֵּרַשְׁתִּי (שם):
(1) FOR THIS COMMANDMENT. The meaning thereof is that it refers to the entire Torah. But the correct interpretation is that when he refers to the entire Torah, he says [as above] Every commandment which I command thee this day.67Above 8:1. Rather [the expression used here] this commandment refers to [the commandment of] repentance aforementioned, for the verses, and thou shalt bethink thyself;68Above, Verse 1. and thou shalt return unto the Eternal thy G-d69Ibid., Verse 2. constitute a commandment, wherein he commands us to do so. It is stated in a future tense [rather than in the imperative] to suggest, in the form of a pledge, that it is destined [that Israel will repent]. And the sense thereof is to state that if thy outcasts be in the uttermost parts of heaven70Above, Verse 4. and you are under the power of the nations, you can yet return to G-d and do according to all that I command thee this day,69Ibid., Verse 2. for the thing is not hard, nor far off from you, but rather very nigh unto thee71Further, Verse 14. to do it at all times and in all places. This is the sense of the expression, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it71Further, Verse 14. meaning that they confess their iniquity, and the iniquity of their fathers72Leviticus 26:40. by word of their mouth, and return in their heart to G-d and accept the Torah upon themselves this day to perform it throughout the generations, as he mentioned, thou and thy children with all thy heart,73Above, Verse 2. as I have explained.74Ibid., and in Verse 6.
הַשַּׁעַר הָרִאשׁוֹן – בְּבֵאוּר הַתְּשׁוּבָה וְעִקָּרֶיהָ.
מִן הַטּוֹבוֹת אֲשֶׁר הֵיטִיב הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ עִם בְּרוּאָיו, כִּי הֵכִין לָהֶם הַדֶּרֶךְ לַעֲלוֹת מִתּוֹךְ פַּחַת מַעֲשֵׂיהֶם וְלָנוּס מִפַּח פִּשְׁעֵיהֶם, לַחְשֹׂךְ נַפְשָׁם מִנִּי שַׁחַת וּלְהָשִׁיב מֵעֲלֵיהֶם אַפּוֹ, וְלִמְּדָם וְהִזְהִירָם לָשׁוּב אֵלָיו כִּי יֶחֶטְאוּ לוֹ, לְרֹב טוּבוֹ וְיָשְׁרוֹ כִּי הוּא יָדַע יִצְרָם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים כה, ח): "טוֹב וְיָשָׁר ה' עַל כֵּן יוֹרֶה חַטָּאִים בַּדָּרֶךְ", וְאִם הִרְבּוּ לִפְשֹׁעַ וְלִמְרוֹד וּבֶגֶד בּוֹגְדִים בָּגָדוּ, לֹא סָגַר בַּעֲדָם דַּלְתֵי תְּשׁוּבָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה לא, ו): "שׁוּבוּ לַאֲשֶׁר הֶעְמִיקוּ סָרָה". וְנֶאֱמַר (ירמיה ג, כב): "שׁוּבוּ בָּנִים שׁוֹבָבִים אֶרְפָּה מְשׁוּבֹתֵיכֶם". וְהֻזְהַרְנוּ עַל הַתְּשׁוּבָה בְּכַמָּה מְקוֹמוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה, וְהִתְבָּאֵר, כִּי הַתְּשׁוּבָה מְקֻבֶּלֶת גַּם כִּי יָשׁוּב הַחוֹטֵא מֵרֹב צָרוֹתָיו, כָּל שֶׁכֵּן אִם יָשׁוּב מִיִּרְאַת הַשֵּׁם וְאַהֲבָתוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ד, ל): "בַּצַּר לְךָ וּמְצָאוּךָ כֹּל הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה בְּאַחֲרִית הַיָּמִים וְשַׁבְתָּ עַד ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ וְשָׁמַעְתָּ בְּקוֹלוֹ". וְהִתְבָּאֵר בַּתּוֹרָה, כִּי יַעֲזֹר ה' לַשָּׁבִים כַּאֲשֶׁר אֵין יַד טִבְעָם מַשֶּׂגֶת וִיחַדֵּשׁ בְּקִרְבָּם רוּחַ טְהוֹרָה לְהַשִּׂיג מַעֲלַת אַהֲבָתוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ל, ב): "וְשַׁבְתָּ עַד ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ וְשָׁמַעְתָּ בְקֹלוֹ כְּכֹל אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם אַתָּה וּבָנֶיךָ בְּכָל לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל נַפְשֶׁךָ". וְאוֹמֵר בְּסוֹף הָעִנְיָן (דברים ל, ו): "וּמָל ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ אֶת לְבָבְךָ וְאֶת לְבַב זַרְעֶךָ" – לְהַשִּׂיג אַהֲבָתוֹ. וְהַנְּבִיאִים וְהַכְּתוּבִים דִּבְּרוּ תָּמִיד עַל דְּבַר הַתְּשׁוּבָה, עַד כִּי בָּאוּ עִקְּרֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה כֻּלָּם מְפֹרָשִׁים בְּדִבְרֵיהֶם כַּאֲשֶׁר יִתְבָּאֵר.
In explanation of repentance and its principles
Among the good things which God, may He be blessed, has bestowed upon His creations is the path which He prepared for them to ascend from the baseness of their actions, to escape the trap of their inequities, to hold their souls back from destruction and to remove His anger from upon them. Because of His goodness and uprightness, He has taught them and warned them to return to Him when they sin against Him - for He understands their nature, as it is stated (Psalms 25:8), "Good and upright is the Lord; therefore He shows sinners the way." [Even] if they greatly sin and rebel and act like treacherous betrayers - He does not close the doors of repentance to them, as it is stated (Isaiah 31:6), "Return, to Him to whom they have been so shamefully false." It is [also] stated (Jeremiah 3:22), "Turn back, O rebellious children, I will heal your afflictions." We are warned about repentance in several places in the Torah. It is explained that repentance is accepted even when the sinner repents because of his many troubles - how much more so [will it be accepted] if he returns because of fear or love of God - as it is stated (Deuteronomy 4:30), "When you are in distress because all these things have befallen you and, in the end, return to the Lord your God and obey Him." It is explained in the Torah that God will help those who repent beyond what their natural ability would allow; and that He renews a pure spirit within them, to reach great heights in His love - as it is stated (Deuteronomy 30:2), "And you return to the Lord your God, and you and your children heed His command with all your heart and soul, just as I enjoin upon you this day." Further, it is stated about the body of the matter (Deuteronomy 30:6), "Then the Lord, your God, will circumcise your heart and the hearts of your offspring," to acquire love for Him. And the Prophets and Writings constantly speak on the subject of repentance, such that the principles of repentance are all explained in their words, as will be explained.

The link between Teshuvah and Tochechah:

מטה אפרים, תר“ב, מא:

המנהג בכל תפוצות ישראל, שרב העיר דורש באותו שבת ברוב עם, והרבה דיברו מזה בספרים שיהיה הדרוש בהתעוררות תשובה ודברי תוכחת מוסר. ומכל מקום גדולי הדור וחסידי עולם מדור דור נהגו לדרוש בסלסול ופלפול במשא ומתן של הלכה... וגם מוטל על החכם שיהיה שומר פיו ולשונו להשיב לשואלו דבר בלשון רכה ורוח נכאה, ושלא לדבר קשות, אלא ישיבם מה שישאלו בפנים יפות... ומנהג חכמים, כאשר כלה לדבר במשא ומתן של הלכה, הם דורשים מקרא והגדה, ויגלו אזנם למוסר והתעוררות תשובה.

דרשה לשבת שובה, שנת תק“ך, מאת הר׳ יחזקאל לנדאו זצ“ל:

קרוב לשלש שנים בעיר הזאת וכבר קיימתי פשטיה דקרא ׳הוכח תוכיח׳ שהוכחתי אתכם בדרוש שדרשתי שבת תשובה הראשון ושוב שניתי אשתקד ורואה אני שבעונותי הרבים דברי לא הצליחו ולא עשו פירות לא קבלתם מוסרי ולא עוד כל שאני מוסיף במוסר הפרצות מתגברות ולא זכיתי להסיר מכשלה... והנה אני רואה שבשנים שעברו הפשטים היו ערבים לכם אבל יותר היה ניחא לי שיערב המוסר כי זה עיקר הדרוש ומה לי אם תשבחו הפשטים, זה קרוב להפסד ורחוק מן השכר אבל אני מבקש מכם בבכי ובתחנה ובקשה קחו מוסרי ויכנסו דברי באזניכם הלא אין אני מוכיח אתכם בשביל איזה טובה הנוגע לי רק אני עומד ומכריז מאן בעי סמא ׳לכו בנים שמעו לי יראת ה׳ אלמדכם׳ למען ייטב לכם כל הימים ואף שראיתי בשנים שעברו שדברי לא עשו פירות אמרתי אני אל לבי אם ימצא אחד מכל העם שאעשה איזה פעולה לטהר לבבו ג"כ דבר גדול הוא!

Shabbat Shuvah Derasha of Rabbi Yechezkal Landau (1713-1793), Prague, 1759:

I have been the rabbi of this city for close to three years now and I have fulfilled the passage "you must rebuke your friend" as I have rebuked you during my sermon on my first Shabbat Shuvah as Rabbi as I did last year too. I have seen that I have been unsuccessful in making any difference and you have not accepted my rebuke nor taken head of my words, the situation of sin has only deteriorated. I have noticed that in the past you have enjoyed hearing me tell allegorical interpretations of the Bible, though I would much rather you'd enjoy the rebuke as that is the main reason & content for my Derash. I plead of you all with tears to please take to heart my rebuke and may my words enter your ears. You should know I do not tell you what you must do for any personal gain, rather it is solely because I want life to be good for you all your days. Even if I have seen that my words have affected just one of you out of the entire congregation to purify his/her heart, that itself is a great thing!

The mitzvah of Tochechah:

(יז) לֹֽא־תִשְׂנָ֥א אֶת־אָחִ֖יךָ בִּלְבָבֶ֑ךָ הוֹכֵ֤חַ תּוֹכִ֙יחַ֙ אֶת־עֲמִיתֶ֔ךָ וְלֹא־תִשָּׂ֥א עָלָ֖יו חֵֽטְא׃
(17) You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kin but*but Exact force of we- uncertain. incur no guilt on their account.

וְהוֹכִחַ אַבְרָהָם אֶת אֲבִימֶלֶךְ וגו' (בראשית כא, כה), אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בַּר חֲנִינָא הַתּוֹכַחַת מְבִיאָה לִידֵי אַהֲבָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי ט, ח): הוֹכַח לְחָכָם וְיֶאֱהָבֶךָּ, הִיא דַּעְתֵּיהּ דְּרַבִּי יוֹסֵי בַּר חֲנִינָא דְּאָמַר כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁאֵין עִמָּהּ תּוֹכָחָה אֵינָהּ אַהֲבָה. אָמַר רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ תּוֹכָחָה מְבִיאָה לִידֵי שָׁלוֹם, וְהוֹכִחַ אַבְרָהָם אֶת אֲבִימֶלֶךְ, הִיא דַּעְתֵּיהּ דְּאָמַר כָּל שָׁלוֹם שֶׁאֵין עִמּוֹ תּוֹכָחָה אֵינוֹ שָׁלוֹם.

“Abraham said: I will swear” (Genesis 21:24).
“Abraham reprimanded Avimelekh regarding the well of water that Avimelekh's servants had stolen” (Genesis 21:25).

“Abraham reprimanded Avimelekh…” – Rabbi Yosei bar Ḥanina said: Reprimand leads to love, as it is stated: “Rebuke a wise person, and he will love you” (Proverbs 9:8). This is consistent with [another] opinion of Rabbi Yosei bar Ḥanina, as he said: Any love that is not accompanied by reprimand is not [true] love.
Reish Lakish said: Reprimand leads to peace – “Abraham reprimanded Avimelekh.” This is consistent with [another] opinion of his, as he said: Any peace that is not accompanied by reprimand is not [true] peace.

וְהָכְתִיב ״בְּנֵי בְלִיָּעַל״! מִתּוֹךְ שֶׁהָיָה לוֹ לְפִנְחָס לְמַחוֹת לְחׇפְנִי וְלֹא מִיחָה, מַעֲלֶה עָלָיו הַכָּתוּב כְּאִלּוּ חָטָא.
The Gemara raises one last challenge: Isn’t it written: “Now the sons of Eli were scoundrels; they knew not the Lord” (I Samuel 2:12), indicating that they were both sinners. The Gemara answers: Since Pinehas should have protested Hophni’s conduct, but he did not protest, the verse ascribes to him liability as if he too had sinned.

R' Danya Ruttenberg - On Repentance and Repair pg. 84, 88

Rebuke is a call to accountability. And there are ways in which the repentance process itself calls for us to be responsive -- that is, it invites others to help in the process.

Maimonides writes that in any case of interpersonal sin, it is "praiseworthy" to confess the harm publicly -- that it is "commendable for one to let the public know their iniquities." This might be because there's a presumption that the harm itself took place in public, and thus the repair must have this public dimension as well. Or it might be that, even if a penitent did a hurtful thing to another person in a more private space, the public confession and declaration of intent to do repentance work can be a powerful way to invite accountability. In some cases, this confession may feel quite freeing -- liberation from worry that everyone will find out about the harm and the clarity that comes from facing what has been done. If you want to be diferent, you must not only face the truth of who you are but also make yourself vulnerable, expose your weaknesses, and ask for help in making different choices. Public confessions demands being specific about the harm that you've caused. And it helps you become accountable not just to specific individuals but to the community at large.

...In a loving, caring community, public confession can be a way of asking for help, knowing that the road might be long and rocky.

אָמַר רַב עַמְרָם בְּרֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בַּר אַבָּא, אָמַר רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בַּר אַבָּא, אָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא: לֹא חָרְבָה יְרוּשָׁלַיִם אֶלָּא בִּשְׁבִיל שֶׁלֹּא הוֹכִיחוּ זֶה אֶת זֶה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״הָיוּ שָׂרֶיהָ כְּאַיָּלִים לֹא מָצְאוּ מִרְעֶה״. מָה אַיִל זֶה, רֹאשׁוֹ שֶׁל זֶה בְּצַד זְנָבוֹ שֶׁל זֶה, אַף יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁבְּאוֹתוֹ הַדּוֹר כָּבְשׁוּ פְּנֵיהֶם בַּקַּרְקַע וְלֹא הוֹכִיחוּ זֶה אֶת זֶה. אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוּדָה: לֹא חָרְבָה יְרוּשָׁלַיִם אֶלָּא בִּשְׁבִיל שֶׁבִּיזּוּ בָּהּ תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וַיִּהְיוּ מַלְעִיבִים בְּמַלְאֲכֵי הָאֱלֹקִים וּבוֹזִים דְּבָרָיו וּמִתַּעְתְּעִים בִּנְבִיאָיו עַד עֲלוֹת חֲמַת ה׳ בְּעַמּוֹ עַד [לְ]אֵין מַרְפֵּא״. מַאי ״עַד לְאֵין מַרְפֵּא״? אָמַר רַב יְהוּדָה אָמַר רַב: כׇּל הַמְבַזֶּה תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים אֵין לוֹ רְפוּאָה לְמַכָּתוֹ.
Rav Amram, son of Rabbi Shimon bar Abba, said that Rabbi Shimon bar Abba said that Rabbi Ḥanina said: Jerusalem was destroyed only because the people did not rebuke one another, as it is stated: “Her ministers were like stags that found no pasture, and they walked without strength before their pursuer” (Lamentations 1:6). Just as this stag turns its head toward the other’s tail when it grazes, and each one feeds on its own, so too, the Jewish people in that generation lowered their faces to the ground and did not rebuke one another.
Rabbi Yehuda said: Jerusalem was destroyed only because they disparaged the Torah scholars in it, as it is stated: “And they mocked the messengers of God and disdained His words and taunted His prophets, until the wrath of God arose against His people, until it could not be healed” (II Chronicles 36:16). What is the meaning of: Until it could not be healed? Rav Yehuda said that Rav said: It means that anyone who disparages Torah scholars cannot be healed from his wound.
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