A New Year: Releasing hurts of the past

(18) Then Judah went up to him and said, “Please, my lord, let your servant appeal to my lord, and do not be impatient with your servant, you who are the equal of Pharaoh. (19) My lord asked his servants, ‘Have you a father or another brother?’ (20) We told my lord, ‘We have an old father, and there is a child of his old age, the youngest; his full brother is dead, so that he alone is left of his mother, and his father dotes on him.’ (21) Then you said to your servants, ‘Bring him down to me, that I may set eyes on him.’ (22) We said to my lord, ‘The boy cannot leave his father; if he were to leave him, his father would die.’ (23) But you said to your servants, ‘Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, do not let me see your faces.’ (24) When we came back to your servant my father, we reported my lord’s words to him. (25) “Later our father said, ‘Go back and procure some food for us.’ (26) We answered, ‘We cannot go down; only if our youngest brother is with us can we go down, for we may not show our faces to the man unless our youngest brother is with us.’ (27) Your servant my father said to us, ‘As you know, my wife bore me two sons. (28) But one is gone from me, and I said: Alas, he was torn by a beast! And I have not seen him since. (29) If you take this one from me, too, and he meets with disaster, you will send my white head down to Sheol in sorrow.’ (30) “Now, if I come to your servant my father and the boy is not with us—since his own life is so bound up with his— (31) when he sees that the boy is not with us, he will die, and your servants will send the white head of your servant our father down to Sheol in grief. (32) Now your servant has pledged himself for the boy to my father, saying, ‘If I do not bring him back to you, I shall stand guilty before my father forever.’ (33) Therefore, please let your servant remain as a slave to my lord instead of the boy, and let the boy go back with his brothers. (34) For how can I go back to my father unless the boy is with me? Let me not be witness to the woe that would overtake my father!” (1) Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone withdraw from me!” So there was no one else about when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. (2) His sobs were so loud that the Egyptians could hear, and so the news reached Pharaoh’s palace. (3) Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dumfounded were they on account of him. (4) Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come forward to me.” And when they came forward, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, he whom you sold into Egypt. (5) Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.

(12) ועיני אחי בנימין [YOUR EYES] AND THE EYES OF MY BROTHER BENJAMIN — he mentions them separately and alike to imply: just as I harbor no hatred against Benjamin, my brother, for he was no party to selling me, so is my heart free from hatred against you (Megillah 16b).

(10) It is forbidden for a person to be cruel and not make amends; instead, a person should get appeased easily and get angry slowly. And at the moment when the sinner asks for forgiveness – forgive with a whole heart and a desirous soul. And even if he pained him and sinned against him many times, he should not take revenge or hold a grudge -- that is the way of the Children of Israel and their correct hearts.

Once, Rav was teaching upon a Biblical text before the Rabbis, and then entered Rabbi Hiyya. Rav returned to the beginning and began again. Bar Kapara entered. Rav returned to the beginning and began again. Rabbi Shimon, the son of Rabbi, entered. Rav returned to the beginning and began again. Rabbi Hanina, the son of Hama, entered. Rav said: "All this continually going back! Let's go!!" He did not return to the beginning. Rabbi Hanina was angry. Rav went to him on thirteen eves of Yom Kippur, but could not appease him.

[The Talmud is confused by the behavior of both figures in the story. It asks,]

But how could Rav do so?!

Didn't Rabbi Yosi, the son of Hanina, say: "One who requests forgiveness from his fellow should not request it more than three times."?

[The Talmud answers its own question, saying,] Rav is different.

[The Talmud asks a second question]

But how could Rabbi Hanina do so withhold forgiveness? Didn't Rabba say: "One who overlooks his own pride, all his transgressions are overlooked."?

[The Talmud finds the answer:]

Rather, Rabbi Hanina had seen in a dream that Rav was hanging from a date tree. And everyone knows that one who is hanging from a date tree in a dream will rise to great heights. Rabbi Hanina said to himself: "I understand from my dream that my position of authority will be given to Rav." And so Rabbi Hanina would not be appeased, so that Rav would go to teach Torah in Babylon.