תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן, וְאֵלּוּ דְּבָרִים שֶׁאָבֵל אָסוּר בָּהֶן: אָסוּר בִּמְלָאכָה וּבִרְחִיצָה וּבְסִיכָה וּבְתַשְׁמִישׁ הַמִּטָּה וּבִנְעִילַת הַסַּנְדָּל. וְאָסוּר לִקְרוֹת בְּתוֹרָה וּבַנְּבִיאִים וּבַכְּתוּבִים, וְלִשְׁנוֹת בַּמִּשְׁנָה, בַּמִּדְרָשׁ וּבָהֲלָכוֹת, וּבַתַּלְמוּד וּבָאַגָּדוֹת. וְאִם הָיוּ רַבִּים צְרִיכִין לוֹ — אֵינוֹ נִמְנָע. וּמַעֲשֶׂה וּמֵת בְּנוֹ שֶׁל רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בְּצִיפּוֹרִי, וְנִכְנַס לְבֵית הַמִּדְרָשׁ, וְדָרַשׁ כׇּל הַיּוֹם כּוּלּוֹ.
§ The Sages taught: These are the activities that a mourner is prohibited from engaging in: He is prohibited from working, and from bathing, and from anointing himself with oil, and from engaging in sexual relations, and from wearing shoes. And he is prohibited from reading in the Torah, and in the Prophets, and in the Writings, and from studying in the Mishna, in the midrash, and in the halakhot, and in the Talmud, and in the aggadot. But if the public needs him to teach them these things, he need not refrain from doing so. There was an incident that the son of Rabbi Yosei died in Tzippori, and Rabbi Yosei entered the study hall and expounded there for the entire day.
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אָבֵל, שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים — אָסוּר לְהַנִּיחַ תְּפִילִּין, מִשְּׁלִישִׁי וְאֵילָךְ, וּשְׁלִישִׁי בַּכְּלָל — מוּתָּר לְהַנִּיחַ תְּפִילִּין. וְאִם בָּאוּ פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת — אֵינוֹ חוֹלֵץ, דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר. רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ אוֹמֵר: אָבֵל, שְׁנֵי יָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים אָסוּר לְהַנִּיחַ תְּפִילִּין. מִשֵּׁנִי, וְשֵׁנִי בַּכְּלָל — מוּתָּר לְהַנִּיחַ תְּפִילִּין, וְאִם בָּאוּ פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת — חוֹלֵץ.
§ The Sages taught the following baraita: For the first three days, a mourner is prohibited from donning phylacteries. From the third day and on, and including the third day, he is permitted to don phylacteries. And if new faces, i.e., people who had not yet come to console him, come, he need not remove them, although these people may falsely conclude that he had also donned phylacteries during the first two days of his mourning; this is the statement of Rabbi Eliezer. Rabbi Yehoshua says: For the first two days, a mourner is prohibited from donning phylacteries. From the second day, and including the second day, he is permitted to wear phylacteries. But if new faces come in to console him, he must remove his phylacteries.
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אָבֵל, שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים אָסוּר בִּמְלָאכָה, וַאֲפִילּוּ עָנִי הַמִּתְפַּרְנֵס מִן הַצְּדָקָה. מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ — עוֹשֶׂה בְּצִינְעָא בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ. וְהָאִשָּׁה טוֹוָה בַּפֶּלֶךְ בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתָהּ. תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אָבֵל, שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים אֵינוֹ הוֹלֵךְ לְבֵית הָאֵבֶל, מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ הוֹלֵךְ, וְאֵינוֹ יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹם הַמְנַחֲמִין, אֶלָּא בִּמְקוֹם הַמִּתְנַחֲמִין. תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אָבֵל, שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים אָסוּר בִּשְׁאֵילַת שָׁלוֹם. מִשְּׁלֹשָׁה וְעַד שִׁבְעָה — מֵשִׁיב וְאֵינוֹ שׁוֹאֵל. מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ, שׁוֹאֵל וּמֵשִׁיב כְּדַרְכּוֹ. שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים אָסוּר בִּשְׁאֵילַת שָׁלוֹם? וְהָתַנְיָא: מַעֲשֶׂה וּמֵתוּ בָּנָיו שֶׁל רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא, נִכְנְסוּ כׇּל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְהִסְפִּידוּם הֶסְפֵּד גָּדוֹל. בִּשְׁעַת פְּטִירָתָן, עָמַד רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא עַל סַפְסָל גָּדוֹל וְאָמַר: אַחֵינוּ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל שִׁמְעוּ! אֲפִילּוּ שְׁנֵי בָנִים חֲתָנִים — מְנוּחָם הוּא בִּשְׁבִיל כָּבוֹד שֶׁעֲשִׂיתֶם. וְאִם בִּשְׁבִיל עֲקִיבָא בָּאתֶם, הֲרֵי כַּמָּה עֲקִיבָא בַּשּׁוּק. אֶלָּא כָּךְ אֲמַרְתֶּם: תּוֹרַת אֱלֹהָיו בְּלִבּוֹ. וְכׇל שֶׁכֵּן שֶׁשְּׂכַרְכֶם כָּפוּל, לְכוּ לְבָתֵּיכֶם לְשָׁלוֹם! כְּבוֹד רַבִּים שָׁאנֵי.
§ The Sages taught the following baraita: During the first three days after his bereavement, a mourner is prohibited from working, even if he is a poor person who is supported by charity. From this point forward, he may do work privately in his own home if he needs to do so. And similarly a woman may spin thread on a spindle in her own home when she is mourning. The Sages taught in another baraita: A mourner during the first three days after his bereavement may not go to another mourner’s house to console him. From this point forward, he may go, but he may not sit among the consolers, but rather in the place of those being consoled, i.e., with the mourners in that house. § The Sages taught in yet another baraita: A mourner, during the first three days after his bereavement, is prohibited from extending greetings to others. From the third day to the seventh day, he may respond when other people address him, but he may not extend greetings to them. From this point forward, he may extend greetings and respond in his usual manner. The Gemara asks: Is he really prohibited from extending greetings during the first three days of mourning? But isn’t it taught in a baraita: There was an incident and the sons of Rabbi Akiva died, and all the Jews entered to eulogize them with a great eulogy. When they were about to take leave, Rabbi Akiva stood on a large bench and said: Our brothers, the house of Israel, listen! Even had my two sons been bridegrooms, I would have been consoled on account of the honor you have shown them. If you came to console for the sake of Akiva, there are many Akivas in the marketplace whom the Jews do all not come to console. Rather, certainly this is what you said to yourselves: “The Torah of his God is in his heart” (Psalms 37:31), and you wished to show your respect for the Torah. All the more so is your reward doubled, for you have consoled mourners and shown respect for the Torah. Return now to your homes in peace. This indicates that a mourner may greet other people even on the first day of his mourning. The Gemara answers: Showing respect for the public is different. Rabbi Akiva was permitted to greet them to demonstrate courtesy and respect.
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אָבֵל, שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים, בָּא מִמָּקוֹם קָרוֹב — מוֹנֶה עִמָּהֶן, בָּא מִמָּקוֹם רָחוֹק — מוֹנֶה לְעַצְמוֹ. מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ, אֲפִילּוּ בָּא מִמָּקוֹם קָרוֹב — מוֹנֶה לְעַצְמוֹ. רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן אוֹמֵר: אֲפִילּוּ בָּא בְּיוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי מִמָּקוֹם קָרוֹב — מוֹנֶה עִמָּהֶן. אָמַר מָר: שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים, בָּא מִמָּקוֹם קָרוֹב — מוֹנֶה עִמָּהֶן. אָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: וְהוּא שֶׁיֵּשׁ גְּדוֹל הַבַּיִת בַּבַּיִת.
§ The Sages taught the following baraita: If a mourner comes to the house of mourning from a nearby place during the first three days of mourning, he counts his days of mourning with the other mourners from the time of the burial and completes his mourning with them. This is the case even if he may end up observing mourning for only five or six days. But if he came from a distant place, he counts on his own seven complete days from the time that he was informed of his relative’s death. From this point forward, i.e., after the first three days of mourning, even if he came from a nearby place, he counts seven days on his own. Rabbi Shimon says: Even if he came on the seventh day from a nearby place, he counts and completes the seven-day period of mourning with the other mourners. The Master said, citing the baraita: If a mourner comes to the house of mourning from a nearby place during the first three days of mourning, he counts his days of mourning with the other mourners and completes his mourning with them. Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: This is in a case where the principal member of the household is in the house, and therefore all the other family members follow his mourning. If, however, it is the principal member of the family who comes home, he certainly does not follow the other members, but rather he counts seven days on his own.
תָּא שְׁמַע, דְּאָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: אֲפִילּוּ הָלַךְ גְּדוֹל הַבַּיִת לְבֵית הַקְּבָרוֹת — מוֹנֶה עִמָּהֶן. מוֹנֶה עִמָּהֶן? וְהָתַנְיָא מוֹנֶה לְעַצְמוֹ! לָא קַשְׁיָא: הָא דַּאֲתָא בְּגוֹ תְּלָתָא, וְהָא דְּלָא אֲתָא בְּגוֹ תְּלָתָא. כִּי הָא דַּאֲמַר לְהוּ רַב לִבְנֵי הַצַּלְבּוֹנִי: דְּאָתוּ בְּגוֹ תְּלָתָא — לִימְנוֹ בַּהֲדַיְיכוּ, דְּלָא אָתוּ בְּגוֹ תְּלָתָא — לִימְנוֹ לְנַפְשַׁיְהוּ. אֲמַר לְהוּ רָבָא לִבְנֵי מָחוֹזָא: אַתּוּן דְּלָא אָזְלִיתוּ בָּתַר עַרְסָא, מִכִּי מְהַדְּרִיתוּ אַפַּיְיכוּ מִבָּבָא דַאֲבוּלָּא — אַתְחִילוּ מְנוֹ. רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן אוֹמֵר: אֲפִילּוּ בָּא בַּיּוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי מִמָּקוֹם קָרוֹב — מוֹנֶה עִמָּהֶן. אָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּיא בַּר גַּמָּדָא אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בֶּן שָׁאוּל אָמַר רַבִּי: וְהוּא שֶׁבָּא וּמָצָא מְנַחֲמִין אֶצְלוֹ.
The Gemara answers: Come and hear that which Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Even if the principal member of the household went to the cemetery, the mourner who comes home during his absence counts with them, i.e., the other members of the household who did not go to the cemetery. The Gemara asks: Does he really count and complete his mourning with them? But isn’t it taught otherwise in a baraita, that he counts seven days on his own? The Gemara answers: This is not difficult. This statement, that he counts with them, is referring to a case where the principal member of the household came home within three days. And the other ruling, that he counts on his own, is referring to a case where he did not come home within three days. This conclusion is similar to what Rav said to the sons of Hatzleponi when they were in mourning: Those who come home within three days should count with you; whereas those who do not come home within three days should count on their own. Rava said to the people of Meḥoza: Those of you who do not follow the coffin all the way to the place of interment should begin counting your days of mourning from when you turn your faces from the city gates to return home. Since the dead were commonly transported long distances and buried far away, most of the mourners did not accompany their deceased relatives to the actual site of burial. § The Gemara cites the baraita taught above: Rabbi Shimon says: Even if one of the mourners came on the seventh day from a nearby place, he counts with the other mourners and completes the seven-day period of mourning with them. Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Gamda said that Rabbi Yosei ben Shaul said that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said: And this is the halakha, provided that he came and found consolers still present in the house.