Yayechi: "The Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness"

After burying his father, Joseph returned to Egypt, he and his brothers and all who had gone up with him to bury his father. When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrong that we did him!” So they sent this message to Joseph, “Before his death your father left this instruction: So shall you say to Joseph, ‘Forgive, I urge you, the offense and guilt of your brothers who treated you so harshly.’ Therefore, please forgive the offense of the servants of the God of your father’s [house].” And Joseph was in tears as they spoke to him. His brothers went to him themselves, flung themselves before him, and said, “We are prepared to be your slaves.” But Joseph said to them, “Have no fear! Am I a substitute for God? Besides, although you intended me harm, God intended it for good, so as to bring about the present result—the survival of many people. And so, fear not. I will sustain you and your dependents.” Thus he reassured them, speaking kindly to them. So Joseph and his father’s household remained in Egypt. Joseph lived one hundred and ten years.

(8) "And Joseph returned to Egypt" (Genesis 50:14) [...they said, "What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrong that we did him?" (Genesis 50:15)] - Rabbi Levi and Rabbi Yitzchak [disagreed on the interpretation]: Rabbi Levi said: "He did not invite them to dine [with him]" Rabbi Tanchuma said: "He intended nothing other than for the sake of Heaven [by his actions] in that [he thought] 'in the past, father seated me above Judah and he is [to be the ancestor of] a king and above Reuvein who is the firstborn. And now, is it not reasonable that I should sit above them?' But they did not say such, but rather "What if Joseph still bears a grudge (Genesis 50:14)" -- Rabbi Yitzchak said "He went and peered into that pit [while in Canaan to bury their father]." 'And they commanded to Joseph saying, "Your father commanded..."' (Genesis 50:16)" It was taught: Rabban Shimon Gamliel says, "Peace is great, as even the tribes [i.e. brothers] spoke invented words in order to bring peace between Joseph and the tribes. This is what is written (in Genesis 50:16), 'And they commanded to Joseph saying... [Your father commanded before his death]'. And where did he command? We do not find that he commanded!" "Such you shall say to Joseph..." (Genesis 50:17) He said: "Thus my brothers suspect me." "And his brothers also went" (Genesis 50:18) They said to him: "You wanted one [i.e. Benjamin] to be yours for a slave - here, all of us are yours for slaves!"

ויאמרו לו ישטמנו יוסף, they said: “perhaps Joseph will hate us.” When the brothers had returned from burying their father in Canaan, Joseph passed the pit into which the brothers had thrown him and recited the blessing: “the G-d Who has performed a miracle for me at this place.” When the brothers heard this they became afraid that old animosities might flare up again.

לו ישטמנו יוסף, "perhaps Joseph will hate us, etc." In this instance the word לו means "perhaps," though there is no other such instance in the Torah where the word לו is used in that sense. We need to understand why the Torah uses the word לו here in a sense which is the opposite of its regular meaning. Although it is quite impossible to mistake the meaning of this word in our context, why did the Torah not use such words as פן, or אולי if the intention was to describe the brothers as saying "perhaps?" It seems that the Torah has the brothers express a subconscious desire for Joseph to pay them back for all they had done to him. If Joseph were to do that now and the brothers would experience a similar agony to that which they had subjected him to, they would no longer have to worry about paying for their sin against him at the end of the exile. Yalkut Mishley 929 describes that the 10 martyrs executed by Hadrian were in retribution for the failure to punish the brothers who had sold Joseph at the time. Shabbat 10 attributes the exile in Egypt to the coloured coat Jacob had made for Joseph and which resulted in the jealousy of his brothers.

לאמר אביך צוה, he commanded that we should say what we have to say as something that originated with us and not with him, as he did not think for a moment that you might want to avenge yourselves on us. However, he consented that if we were worried, we could take the initiative and express our concerns to you.

And Rabbi Ile’a further said in the name of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon: It is permitted for a person to depart from the truth in a matter that will bring peace, as it is stated: “Your father commanded before he died, saying: So you shall say to Joseph: Please pardon your brothers’ crime, etc.” (Genesis 50:16–17). Jacob never issued this command, but his sons falsely attributed this statement to him in order to preserve peace between them and Joseph.

שא נא לפשע עבדי אלהי אביך NOW, PRAY, FORGIVE THE TRESSPASS OF THE SERVANTS OF THE GOD OF THY FATHER — After having repeated to Joseph the words which his brothers stated had been their fathers message, “forgive thy brothers’ sin” the messengers were to add as a petition of the brothers “Now, pray etc.”, meaning “If you will not forgive them although they are your brothers, forgive them because they are the servants of the God of thy father”, implying though your father be dead, his God still lives and they are his servants.

ויבך יוסף בדברם אליו, “Joseph wept when they were speaking to him.” As soon as the brothers merely mentioned the name of their father Joseph already started weeping. This was due to the great love he had for his now departed father. This stirred his sense of compassion, especially seeing that his brothers asked his forgiveness. The Torah does not spell out that Joseph actually forgave his brothers. Our sages (Bava Kama 92) point out that if a person has wronged his fellow man and regrets this wrong and determines not to act in the manner which had offended his fellow man he is not forgiven by G’d until after he has made an effort to obtain forgiveness by the aggrieved party first. At any rate, the Torah is not on record anywhere that Joseph did forgive his brothers. This was the reason why the sin committed against Joseph resulted in the ten martyrs being executed by torture at the hands of the Romans. I tend to think that of the word פשע in this verse contains an allusion. This sin could be divided into two parts. 1) the sin of the brothers including the unwitting part of it in their capacity as Joseph’s brothers. 2) The sin in their capacity as servants of the Lord G’d whom their father Yaakov revered. Had the Torah not wanted to hint that part of those sins had not been forgiven it should have written merely ועתה שא נא לפשעם, “and now, please, do forgive their sin (sing.).” The wording before us appears to make G’d’s forgiveness conditional on Joseph’s forgiveness. In other words: “if you Joseph forgive the sin of the brothers against you, then I G’d, will be able to forgive their sin seeing they are servants of the same G’d as your father Yaakov.” The concise meaning of the verse is: “the sin of the servants of your father’s G’d is the one they committed against their brother.”