This week’s Torah portion includes the story of Isaac and Rebekah, the first biblical couple to fall in love. While Isaac and Rebekah are the main characters in our reading today, I’d like to take a moment to highlight the wisdom we can find in the secondary character of Eliezer.
Eliezer is the senior servant of Abraham’s household, and Abraham entrusts him with an important mission: to find a wife for Abraham’s son Isaac.1 The Torah says Eliezer set out with ten camels and waited at a well.
(יב) וַיֹּאמַ֓ר ׀ יְהֹוָ֗ה אֱלֹהֵי֙... הַקְרֵה־נָ֥א לְפָנַ֖י הַיּ֑וֹם...׃ (יג) הִנֵּ֛ה אָנֹכִ֥י נִצָּ֖ב עַל־עֵ֣ין הַמָּ֑יִם וּבְנוֹת֙ אַנְשֵׁ֣י הָעִ֔יר יֹצְאֹ֖ת לִשְׁאֹ֥ב מָֽיִם׃ (יד) וְהָיָ֣ה הַֽנַּעֲרָ֗ אֲשֶׁ֨ר אֹמַ֤ר אֵלֶ֙יהָ֙ הַטִּי־נָ֤א כַדֵּךְ֙ וְאֶשְׁתֶּ֔ה וְאָמְרָ֣ה שְׁתֵ֔ה וְגַם־גְּמַלֶּ֖יךָ אַשְׁקֶ֑ה אֹתָ֤הּ הֹכַ֙חְתָּ֙ לְעַבְדְּךָ֣ לְיִצְחָ֔ק...׃
(12) And [Eliezer] said, “O Eternal One... grant me good fortune this day... (13) Here I stand by the spring as the daughters of the townspeople come out to draw water; (14) let the maiden to whom I say, ‘Please, lower your jar that I may drink,’ and who replies, ‘Drink, and I will also water your camels’—let her be the one whom You have decreed for Your servant Isaac...”
And then something amazing happens!
(טו) וַֽיְהִי־ה֗וּא טֶ֘רֶם֮ כִּלָּ֣ה לְדַבֵּר֒ וְהִנֵּ֧ה רִבְקָ֣ה יֹצֵ֗את... וְכַדָּ֖הּ עַל־שִׁכְמָֽהּ׃
(15) He had scarcely finished speaking, when Rebekah... came out with her jar on her shoulder.
Rebekah gives water to Eliezer and his ten camels, which is an incredibly generous act. Think of how much water it would take to provide for a man and ten camels! Was there something special about the way Eliezer prayed in order to have such an immediate and positive outcome?
As we saw above, at first, the Torah simply says that “[Eliezer] had scarcely finished speaking when Rebekah… came out with her jar on her shoulder” (Genesis 24:15). The Hebrew word for speaking here is l’daber, which is a very common word that doesn’t stand out much in the Torah; its root ד-ב-ר shows up over 100 times in Genesis alone!2 But we get an important detail about the way Eliezer speaks when Eliezer retells his story to Rebekah’s family:
(מה) אֲנִי֩ טֶ֨רֶם אֲכַלֶּ֜ה לְדַבֵּ֣ר אֶל־לִבִּ֗י וְהִנֵּ֨ה רִבְקָ֤ה יֹצֵאת֙ וְכַדָּ֣הּ עַל־שִׁכְמָ֔הּ...
(45) I had scarcely finished speaking in my heart, when Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder...
The Hebrew here is l’daber el libi: not just regular speaking but speaking “in my heart”. Unlike the common word l’daber, the word for heart (lev) shows up only twelve times in Genesis. Each appearance of the heart is intentional and significant, and it’s worth considering why Eliezer adds his heart into his retelling of the encounter with Rebekah. Why does Eliezer bother to mention his heart?
We find one answer to this question from the Or HaChaim, a commentator from the 18th century:
אני טרם וגו' לדבר אל לבי. שלל כי לא שמעתו אוזן, לחוש לנערה שתעשה לצד מה ששמעה:
אני טרם אכלה לדבר אל לבי, "I had not yet finished speaking in my heart." Eliezer said this so no one should think that Rebekah's actions had been prompted by what she had overheard Eliezer saying.
The Or HaChaim is suggesting Eliezer was worried people would think he had been speaking out loud. If Eliezer had spoken out loud, people might say Rebekah offered him water simply because she overheard his wish, not because she was actually the kind woman he had been seeking. Eliezer therefore specified that he was praying in his heart — in other words, he was praying silently, so there was no way Rebekah could have heard him.
I’d like to offer another explanation for why Eliezer mentions his heart: Maybe he’s adding his heart back into a story about kindness and love. He’s showing that Rebekah isn’t the only one in the story who has a heart; Eliezer the servant has a heart, too. When he speaks el libi, in his heart, he shows that he truly cares about his mission to find a wife for Isaac. He’s not a robot who says some words and retrieves Rebekah. He’s a human being who incorporates his unique feelings and thoughts into the process of finding the right person to bring home to his household.
Reading this Torah portion makes me wonder where we can find our hearts in the stories of our lives. Can we find our hearts in the ways we speak, like Eliezer? Can we find our hearts in the ways we treat ourselves or others?
Sometimes, we neglect to find our hearts in our stories — or maybe we tell stories about other people and forget that they, too, have complex human emotions and feelings. Eliezer’s story reminds us to return to the heart and bring it back into the stories we share about ourselves and others.
Next Thursday, we’ll celebrate Thanksgiving — a beautiful time to recenter our hearts and focus on love and gratitude. Next Thursday is also the beginning of the Jewish month of Kislev. Some people make a pun on the word Kislev because it sounds like kis, which means “pocket”, and lev, which means “heart”. Perhaps this coming Jewish month can be a month of keeping our hearts in our pockets, close to us at all times.
As we enter both Thanksgiving and the month of Kislev, may we find moments to pause and ask, “Where is my heart in the story I’m sharing?” May we remember our hearts. And may we remember the hearts of those around us. Shabbat shalom.
1 The name of Abraham's servant is never mentioned explicitly in this story, but it is likely the servant is Eliezer from Genesis 15:2-3.
2 Perhaps the most striking instance is after the great flood, when the Divine speaks “el libo” — in the Divine's heart — and promises never to do something so destructive again (Genesis 8:21).