(En)During the High Holy Days: Holding Hope During the Days of Awe

1) Can you think of a time when fear stopped you from doing something you wanted to do? How do you feel about that decision retrospectively?
2) What role does fear play in your life and in your decision-making? How do you feel about the role fear plays in your life?

ונתנה תוקף א׳

וּנְתַנֶּה תֹּקֶף קְדֻשַּׁת הַיּוֹם כִּי הוּא נוֹרָא וְאָיֹם וּבוֹ תִּנָּשֵׂא מַלְכוּתֶךָ וְיִכּוֹן בְּחֶסֶד כִּסְאֶךָ וְתֵשֵׁב עָלָיו בְּאֱמֶת

Unetaneh Tokef 1

We lend power to the holiness of this day. For it is tremendous and awe filled, and on it your kingship will be exalted, your throne will be established in loving-kindness, and you will sit on that throne in truth.

ונתנה תוקף ב׳

אֱמֶת כִּי אַתָּה הוּא דַּיָּן וּמוֹכִיחַ וְיוֹדֵעַ וָעֵד וְכוֹתֵב וְחוֹתֵם וְסוֹפֵר וּמוֹנֶה וְתִזְכֹּר כָּל הַנִּשְׁכָּחוֹת וְתִפְתַּח אֶת סֵפֶר הַזִּכְרוֹנוֹת וּמֵאֵלָיו יִקָּרֵא וְחוֹתָם יַד כָּל אָדָם בּוֹ

Unetaneh Tokef 2

It is true that you are the one who judges, and reproves, who knows all, and bears witness, who inscribes, and seals, who reckons and enumerates. You remember all that is forgotten. You open the book of records, and from it, all shall be read. In it lies each person's insignia.

והשיבו: יש יראה הבאה מתוך ראייה של חוץ ויש שבאה מתוך ראייה של פְּנים; יש שלמראה הנס שמעל הטבע נאחז אדם אימה, ועולה ומתגברת בו היראה, ואצלנו, אין הדבר כך. יראתנו, 'לֹא בַשָּׁמַיִם הִוא' (דברים ל, יב). דווקא מתוך הטבע, מתוך כאב המראות על האבניים, נולדה בנו יראת אלוהים, ולמדנו לבחור בטוב ולשמור על החיים, להילחם במוות ולהתנגד לרע.

The Midwives Saw and Feared, Orna Peltz

Dirshuni: Contemporary Women's Midrash

And the midwives answered:

There is fearful awe (yir-a) that comes from external seeing (re-i-ya) and there is fearful awe that comes from internal vision (re-i-ya); A person can be frozen in terror, witnessing a supernatural miracle, which awakens and strengthens her sense of fearful awe. But for us, it doesn’t work like that. Our fearful awe is “not in the heavens” (Devarim 30:12). Our fearful awe of God arises precisely from within nature, from within the pain of what we witness on the birth stool. From there we learn to choose what is good, to protect life, to fight against death and to resist evil.

1) Can you think of a time where you felt awe? Where were you?
2) How might you, literally or figuratively, bring yourself back to that time?

תלמוד ירושלמי ראש השנה א׳:ג׳:ד׳-ו׳

ר' חמא בי ר' חנינה ור' הושעיה חד אמר אי זו אומה כאומה הזאת בנוהג שבעולם אדם יודע שיש לו דין לובש שחורים ומתעטף שחורים ומגדל זקנו שאינו יודע היאך דינו יוצא אבל ישרראל אינן כן אלא לובשים לבנים ומתעטפן לבנים ומגלחין זקנם ואוכלין ושותין ושמחים יודעין שהקב"ה עושה להן ניסים.

Jerusalem Talmud Rosh Hashanah 1:3:4-6

Rabbi. Hama son of Rabbi Hanina, and Rabbi Hoshaya-- one said, "Is there a nation like this nation? Ordinarily someone who knows she is on trial wears black and wraps himself in black and lets his beard grow since she does not know how her trial will turn out. But that is not how it is with Israel. Rather, on the day of their trial they wear white and shave their beards and eat, drink, and rejoice, for they know that the Holy One Blessed On does miracles for them.

PLACE YOURSELF in front of the fear.
You will be judged, you will die.
Place yourself in the center of the universe,
You earned that spot simply by existing.
Place yourself under obligation to God
However you understand or don’t understand God.
Place yourself on the path of holiness and joy and truth.
Bless and be blessed by HaMakom, the Place where we find ourselves.
-Trisha Arlin

תהילים כ״ז:י״ד

(יד) קַוֵּ֗ה אֶל־יְ֫הֹוָ֥ה חֲ֭זַק וְיַאֲמֵ֣ץ לִבֶּ֑ךָ וְ֝קַוֵּ֗ה אֶל־יְהֹוָֽה׃ {פ}

Psalms 27:14

(14) Look to the LORD;
be strong and of good courage!
O look to the LORD!