Same-Sex Marriage - Masorti Perspective

Engendering Judaism, by Rachel Adler

These unresolved tensions between woman as possession and woman as partner are embedded in the classical liturgy upon which all modern Jewish wedding ceremonies draw... The legal definition [acquisition with a ring], derived from talmudic property law, anachronistically categorises women as a special kind of chattel over which the husband has acquired rights. In contrast, the metaphors that inform the sheva berakhot characterise marriage as a covenant between partners who choose each other... The traditional wedding ceremony, first treating the bride as a piece of property and then paradoxically depicting her as a covenanter, mirrors in its very structure the irreconcilable expectations implicit in patriarchal marriage.

Rabbi Steve Greenberg

Partnership was traditionally accomplished by each party putting assets into a bag and lifting it together, symbolizing the joining together of their individual properties into a single enterprise. This ritual might be added to the giving of rings as a formal way to mark the joining of two households into one and not the adoption of a woman into the household of a man.

RITUALS AND DOCUMENTS OF MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE FOR SAME-SEX COUPLES

by Rabbis Elliot Dorff, Daniel Nevins and Avram Reisner Sivan 5772 / Spring 2012

Rachel Adler

Partnership law, hilkhot shutafut, forms the legal basis for the contractual aspects of the b'rit ahuvim. The model of a partnership reflects the undeniable fact that marriage is not only a social but an economic institution. But unlike the ketubah, which presumes that most economic power and resources belong to the male, the b'rit ahuvim presumes communal resources and requires joint decisions about their distribution.

On the second day of the week, the second day of the month of Elul, in the year 5782, corresponding to the 29th day of August in the year 2022, in London, England, O J daughter of A and J, and L A S, daughter of S and P, confirm in the presence of witnesses a lovers’ covenant between them and declare a partnership to establish a household among the people of Israel. This agreement is a holy covenant like the ancient covenants of our people, which they enter into willingly, humbly and lovingly.

It is a covenant of security like the covenant God swore to Noah and his descendants, saying, “When the rainbow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures” (Genesis 9:16). It is a covenant of exclusivity, like the covenant God made with Israel, saying “You shall be my people, and I shall be your God” (Jer. 30:22). It is a covenant of devotion, joining hearts like the covenant David and Jonathan made, as it is said: “And Jonathan’s soul was bound up with the soul of David. Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:1-3). It is a covenant that embodies the continuation of the Jewish narrative, as it is said: “It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you at liberty to neglect it” (Pirkei Avot, 2:16).

Olivia and Liora declare that they have willingly chosen each other as companions and set themselves apart for each other in an exclusive loving partnership, as it is said, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.” (Kohelet 4:9).

They commit themselves to a Jewish life of kindness, righteousness and egalitarianism and to work together towards the communal task of improving the world.

They hereby assume all the rights and obligations that apply to family members: to attend, care, and provide for one another and for any children with which they may be blessed.

This they pledge for all the days of their lives upon this earth, as it is said: “Though the mountains may move and the hills shake, my loyalty will never move from you, nor my covenant of peace be shaken.” (Isaiah 54:10).

On Sunday, the 13th of Sivan 5782, in the city of London, England, A J, daughter of L S and A M, and S H, son of A J and D H, confirm that by signing this contract in the presence of witnesses, they enter into a covenant of marriage and declare a partnership to establish a household among the Jewish people and the people of the world.

The covenant into which they are entering is holy like the ancient covenants of our people. It is a covenant of love and commitment, as it is written, I will espouse you forever. I will espouse you with righteousness and justice and goodness and mercy. (Hosea 2:2) It is an enduring covenant like the covenant between God and Israel: my kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall the covenant of my peace be removed. (Isaiah 54:10) It is a covenant of devotion, like the covenant David and Jonathan made: And Jonathan’s soul was bound up with the soul of David. Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. (1 Samuel 18:1–3) It is a covenant founded on justice, like the covenant God swore, saying, I created you and appointed you a covenant people, a light of nations, opening eyes deprived of light, rescuing prisoners from confinement. (Isaiah 42:6–7) and following the words of Rabbi Abbahu that a person should choose always to be among those who are persecuted and not among the persecutors. (Bava Kamma 93a)

1. We declare that we are committing to an exclusive loving partnership.

2. We hereby assume all the rights and obligations that apply to family members: to attend, care, and provide for one another and for any children with which we may be blessed.
3. We commit ourselves to a life of kindness and righteousness as a Jewish family, as it is written, only do justice, and love kindness and walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)
4. We commit to create a true partnership of equals. We will share decisions for our family, our responsibility for our household, and ownership of all our property and future earnings, while safeguarding for each other a measure of financial independence.
5. We bind ourselves to each others’ families, as it is written, your people shall be my people. (Ruth 1:16)
6. We pledge that one will help the other at the time of dying by carrying out the last rational requests of the dying partner, protecting them from indignity or abandonment, and by tender, faithful presence with the beloved until the end, fulfilling what has been written: For love is as fierce as death, passion is mighty as the grave. (Song of Songs 8:6)