From The Narrow Place I Called To You: The Passover Haggadah as a Text for Healing

הָא לַחְמָא עַנְיָא דִּי אֲכָלוּ אַבְהָתָנָא בְאַרְעָא דְמִצְרָיִם. כָּל דִכְפִין יֵיתֵי וְיֵיכֹל, כָּל דִצְרִיךְ יֵיתֵי וְיִפְסַח. הָשַּׁתָּא הָכָא, לְשָׁנָה הַבָּאָה בְּאַרְעָא דְיִשְׂרָאֵל. הָשַּׁתָּא עַבְדֵי, לְשָׁנָה הַבָּאָה בְּנֵי חוֹרִין.

Pesach Haggadah, Magid, Ha Lachma Anya 3

This is the bread of destitution that our ancestors ate in the land of Egypt. Anyone who is famished should come and eat, anyone who is in need should come and partake of the Pesach sacrifice. Now we are here, next year we will be in the land of Israel; this year we are slaves, next year we will be free people.

What are some of the symbols of illness in our time? How do you feel about the analogy of illness as a “narrow place” or “dire straits?” Who do we “invite” to this ritual as one who is “needy” or one who is “hungry?” Where are we now, and where do we hope to be next year?

דברים כ״ו:ה׳-ט׳

(ה) וְעָנִ֨יתָ וְאָמַרְתָּ֜ לִפְנֵ֣י ׀ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֗יךָ אֲרַמִּי֙ אֹבֵ֣ד אָבִ֔י וַיֵּ֣רֶד מִצְרַ֔יְמָה וַיָּ֥גׇר שָׁ֖ם בִּמְתֵ֣י מְעָ֑ט וַֽיְהִי־שָׁ֕ם לְג֥וֹי גָּד֖וֹל עָצ֥וּם וָרָֽב׃ (ו) וַיָּרֵ֧עוּ אֹתָ֛נוּ הַמִּצְרִ֖ים וַיְעַנּ֑וּנוּ וַיִּתְּנ֥וּ עָלֵ֖ינוּ עֲבֹדָ֥ה קָשָֽׁה׃ (ז) וַנִּצְעַ֕ק אֶל־יְהֹוָ֖ה אֱלֹהֵ֣י אֲבֹתֵ֑ינוּ וַיִּשְׁמַ֤ע יְהֹוָה֙ אֶת־קֹלֵ֔נוּ וַיַּ֧רְא אֶת־עׇנְיֵ֛נוּ וְאֶת־עֲמָלֵ֖נוּ וְאֶֽת־לַחֲצֵֽנוּ׃ (ח) וַיּוֹצִאֵ֤נוּ יְהֹוָה֙ מִמִּצְרַ֔יִם בְּיָ֤ד חֲזָקָה֙ וּבִזְרֹ֣עַ נְטוּיָ֔ה וּבְמֹרָ֖א גָּדֹ֑ל וּבְאֹת֖וֹת וּבְמֹפְתִֽים׃ (ט) וַיְבִאֵ֖נוּ אֶל־הַמָּק֣וֹם הַזֶּ֑ה וַיִּתֶּן־לָ֙נוּ֙ אֶת־הָאָ֣רֶץ הַזֹּ֔את אֶ֛רֶץ זָבַ֥ת חָלָ֖ב וּדְבָֽשׁ׃

Deuteronomy 26:5-9

(5) You shall then recite as follows before your God יהוה: “My father was a fugitive Aramean. He went down to Egypt with meager numbers and sojourned there; but there he became a great and very populous nation. (6) The Egyptians dealt harshly with us and oppressed us; they imposed heavy labor upon us. (7) We cried to יהוה, the God of our ancestors, and יהוה heard our plea and saw our plight, our misery, and our oppression. (8) יהוה freed us from Egypt by a mighty hand, by an outstretched arm and awesome power, and by signs and portents, (9) bringing us to this place and giving us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey.

My reading today was Deuteronomy Chapter 26, verses 1-13, which is Parshat Ki Tavo. In this passage, The Israelites are instructed to give the first fruits of their harvest to the priest in a basket as an offering to God. As they made the offering, they said, “my father was a wandering Aramean.” He went to Egypt, became a nation, and was treated harshly by the Egyptians. Why did they say this? Our ancestors began their ritual of thanksgiving by remembering the whole story of their journey, beginning with Jacob and Joseph’s time in Egypt. They said these words to remind themselves of where they’ve been, how far they have gotten, and to express gratitude for the entire journey. These same words are part of the Passover seder. In other words, we remind ourselves of where we’ve been. We tell the whole story. We celebrate Passover to celebrate our release from slavery and oppression. When we retell the story, we remind ourselves of our oppression. We remind ourselves of that to remember that people who are oppressed today are in a situation we were in, and so we have an obligation to help them. When I am asked about my hearing aids, I retell the story of my cancer treatment. I was diagnosed with kidney cancer shortly before my first birthday. Radiation and chemotherapy were two of the main treatments used to resolve my cancer, which made it possible for me to grow into young adulthood and be here today. The side effect of one of my cancer medicines was hearing loss. While I don’t remember my days of being sick or my time in the hospital (just as the Israelites didn’t remember being in Egypt themselves), I do know the story, including the fact that I was in and out of the hospital a lot. I spent most of my toddler years either in the hospital or too compromised to go out. I was diagnosed in June of 2008, and April of 2010 was when my treatment stopped. I can understand what it means to be in the hospital because I have been in a position of those in the hospital. I can only imagine what it is like to be there now, when a potentially life threatening disease is making everything worse. No one can visit and people can’t bring their own comfort objects in. This is why I am making pillows and blankets for the kids in the hospital. We have also collected donations for Childrens Hospital of Pittsburgh. I can now tell the whole story of my cancer beginning with my own diagnosis, describing my treatments and my hearing loss, remembering and celebrating April 1 as the day I was released from the hospital, and now ending with the giving of these gifts to the children in the hospital. My cancer story is an exact parallel of the story of the Israelites’ offering of the first fruits: first we describe how it started, we talk about the journey, and we celebrate our freedom...and then we offer thanks for where we are now.
David May, 13, on the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah, September 5, 2020

Write the story of a healing experience in four lines – from the perspective of the healer and the perspective of the patient. Read it as a whole, from 10,000 feet. Now re-read it word by word and tell us what is hidden in each of these words.

הגדה של פסח, מגיד, פסח מצה ומרור א׳

רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל הָיָה אוֹמֵר: כָּל שֶׁלֹּא אָמַר שְׁלשָׁה דְּבָרִים אֵלּוּ בַּפֶּסַח, לא יָצָא יְדֵי חוֹבָתוֹ, וְאֵלּוּ הֵן: פֶּסַח, מַצָּה, וּמָרוֹר.

Pesach Haggadah, Magid, Rabban Gamliel's Three Things 1

Rabban Gamliel was accustomed to say, Anyone who has not said these three things on Pesach has not fulfilled his obligation, and these are them: the Pesach sacrifice, matsa and marror.

הגדה של פסח, כורך

כּוֹרֵךְ

כל אחד מהמסבים לוקח כזית מן המצה השְלישית עם כזית מרור, כורכים יחד, אוכלים בהסבה ובלי ברכה. לפני אכלו אומר.

זֵכֶר לְמִקְדָּשׁ כְּהִלֵּל. כֵּן עָשָׂה הִלֵּל בִּזְמַן שֶׁבֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ הָיָה קַיָּם:

הָיָה כּוֹרֵךְ מַצָּה וּמָרוֹר וְאוֹכֵל בְּיַחַד, לְקַיֵּם מַה שֶּׁנֶּאֱמַר: עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרוׂרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ.

Pesach Haggadah, Korech

Wrap

All present should take a kazayit from the third whole matsa with a kazayit of marror, wrap them together and eat them while reclining and without saying a blessing. Before he eats it, he should say:

In memory of the Temple according to Hillel. This is what Hillel would do when the Temple existed:

He would wrap the matsa and marror and eat them together, in order to fulfill what is stated, (Exodus 12:15): "You should eat it upon matsot and marrorim."

What role does food play in illness, illness narratives, and healing?

תהילים קי״ד

(א) בְּצֵ֣את יִ֭שְׂרָאֵל מִמִּצְרָ֑יִם בֵּ֥ית יַ֝עֲקֹ֗ב מֵעַ֥ם לֹעֵֽז׃ (ב) הָיְתָ֣ה יְהוּדָ֣ה לְקׇדְשׁ֑וֹ יִ֝שְׂרָאֵ֗ל מַמְשְׁלוֹתָֽיו׃ (ג) הַיָּ֣ם רָ֭אָה וַיָּנֹ֑ס הַ֝יַּרְדֵּ֗ן יִסֹּ֥ב לְאָחֽוֹר׃ (ד) הֶ֭הָרִים רָקְד֣וּ כְאֵילִ֑ים גְּ֝בָע֗וֹת כִּבְנֵי־צֹֽאן׃ (ה) מַה־לְּךָ֣ הַ֭יָּם כִּ֣י תָנ֑וּס הַ֝יַּרְדֵּ֗ן תִּסֹּ֥ב לְאָחֽוֹר׃ (ו) הֶ֭הָרִים תִּרְקְד֣וּ כְאֵילִ֑ים גְּ֝בָע֗וֹת כִּבְנֵי־צֹֽאן׃ (ז) מִלִּפְנֵ֣י אָ֭דוֹן ח֣וּלִי אָ֑רֶץ מִ֝לִּפְנֵ֗י אֱל֣וֹהַּ יַעֲקֹֽב׃ (ח) הַהֹפְכִ֣י הַצּ֣וּר אֲגַם־מָ֑יִם חַ֝לָּמִ֗ישׁ לְמַעְיְנוֹ־מָֽיִם׃

Psalms 114

(1) When Israel went forth from Egypt,
the house of Jacob from a people of strange speech, (2) Judah became His holy one,^-a
Israel, His dominion. (3) The sea saw them and fled,
Jordan ran backward, (4) mountains skipped like rams,
hills like sheep. (5) What alarmed you, O sea, that you fled,
Jordan, that you ran backward, (6) mountains, that you skipped like rams,
hills, like sheep? (7) Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord,
at the presence of the God of Jacob, (8) who turned the rock into a pool of water,
the flinty rock into a fountain.

הגדה של פסח, הלל, מסיימים את ההלל ו׳

מִן הַמֵּצַר קָרָאתִי יָּהּ, עָנָנִי בַמֶּרְחַב יָהּ. ה' לִי, לֹא אִירָא – מַה יַּעֲשֶׂה לִי אָדָם, ה' לִי בְּעֹזְרָי וַאֲנִי אֶרְאֶה בְּשׂנְאָי. טוֹב לַחֲסוֹת בַּיי מִבְּטֹחַ בָּאָדָם. טוֹב לַחֲסוֹת בַּיי מִבְּטֹחַ בִּנְדִיבִים. כָּל גּוֹיִם סְבָבוּנִי, בְּשֵׁם ה' כִּי אֲמִילַם. סַבּוּנִי גַם סְבָבוּנִי, בְּשֵׁם ה' כִּי אֲמִילַם. סַבּוּנִי כִדְּבֹרִים, דֹּעֲכוּ כְּאֵשׁ קוֹצִים, בְּשֵׁם ה' כִּי אֲמִילַם. דָּחֹה דְּחִיתַנִי לִנְפֹּל, וַיי עֲזָרָנִי. עָזִּי וְזִמְרָת יָהּ וַיְהִי לִי לִישׁוּעָה. קוֹל רִנָּה וִישׁוּעָה בְּאָהֳלֵי צַדִּיקִים: יְמִין ה' עֹשָׂה חָיִל, יְמִין ה' רוֹמֵמָה, יְמִין ה' עֹשָׂה חָיִל. לֹא אָמוּת כִּי אֶחְיֶה, וַאֲסַפֵּר מַעֲשֵׂי יָהּ. יַסֹּר יִסְּרַנִי יָּהּ, וְלַמָּוֶת לֹא נְתָנָנִי. פִּתְחוּ לִי שַׁעֲרֵי צֶדֶק, אָבֹא בָם, אוֹדֶה יָהּ. זֶה הַשַּׁעַר לַיי, צַדִּיקִים יָבֹאוּ בוֹ.

Pesach Haggadah, Hallel, Second Half of Hallel 6

From the strait I have called, Lord; He answered me from the wide space, the Lord. The Lord is for me, I will not fear, what will man do to me? The Lord is for me with my helpers, and I shall glare at those that hate me. It is better to take refuge with the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge with the Lord than to trust in nobles. All the nations surrounded me - in the name of the Lord, as I will chop them off. They surrounded me, they also encircled me - in the name of the Lord, as I will chop them off. They surrounded me like bees, they were extinguished like a fire of thorns - in the name of the Lord, as I will chop them off. You have surely pushed me to fall, but the Lord helped me. My boldness and song is the Lord, and He has become my salvation. The sound of happy song and salvation is in the tents of the righteous, the right hand of the Lord acts powerfully. I will not die but rather I will live and tell over the acts of the Lord. The Lord has surely chastised me, but He has not given me over to death. Open up for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter them, thank the Lord. This is the gate of the Lord, the righteous will enter it. (Psalms 118:5-20)

•What do these psalms offer us and our patients in terms of context for the emotions that well up during the process of illness, healing, and loss?

•What texts or sources do you use in helping people to grapple with deep feeling, illness, healing, loss and making meaning?

•What touchstones do you return to when you are personally or professionally fragile to try to restore yourself?