The Fifth Commandment: The Weight of Honoring Your Parents Parshat Yitro

(א) וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר אֱלֹהִ֔ים אֵ֛ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֥ים הָאֵ֖לֶּה לֵאמֹֽר׃ {ס} (ב) אָֽנֹכִ֖י֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑֔יךָ אֲשֶׁ֧ר הוֹצֵאתִ֛יךָ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם מִבֵּ֣֥ית עֲבָדִ֑͏ֽים׃ (ג) לֹֽ֣א־יִהְיֶ֥͏ֽה־לְךָ֛֩ אֱלֹהִ֥֨ים אֲחֵרִ֖֜ים עַל־פָּנָֽ֗͏ַי׃ (ד) לֹֽ֣א־תַֽעֲשֶׂ֨ה־לְךָ֥֣ פֶ֣֙סֶל֙ ׀ וְכׇל־תְּמוּנָ֔֡ה אֲשֶׁ֤֣ר בַּשָּׁמַ֣֙יִם֙ ׀ מִמַּ֔֡עַל וַֽאֲשֶׁ֥ר֩ בָּאָ֖֨רֶץ מִתָּ֑֜͏ַחַת וַאֲשֶׁ֥ר בַּמַּ֖֣יִם ׀ מִתַּ֥֣חַת לָאָֽ֗רֶץ׃ (ה) לֹֽא־תִשְׁתַּחֲוֶ֥֣ה לָהֶ֖ם֮ וְלֹ֣א תׇעׇבְדֵ֑ם֒ כִּ֣י אָֽנֹכִ֞י יְהֹוָ֤ה אֱלֹהֶ֙יךָ֙ אֵ֣ל קַנָּ֔א פֹּ֠קֵד עֲוֺ֨ן אָבֹ֧ת עַל־בָּנִ֛ים עַל־שִׁלֵּשִׁ֥ים וְעַל־רִבֵּעִ֖ים לְשֹׂנְאָֽ֑י׃ (ו) וְעֹ֥֤שֶׂה חֶ֖֙סֶד֙ לַאֲלָפִ֑֔ים לְאֹהֲבַ֖י וּלְשֹׁמְרֵ֥י מִצְוֺתָֽי׃ {ס} (ז) לֹ֥א תִשָּׂ֛א אֶת־שֵֽׁם־יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ לַשָּׁ֑וְא כִּ֣י לֹ֤א יְנַקֶּה֙ יְהֹוָ֔ה אֵ֛ת אֲשֶׁר־יִשָּׂ֥א אֶת־שְׁמ֖וֹ לַשָּֽׁוְא׃ {פ}
(ח) זָכ֛וֹר֩ אֶת־י֥֨וֹם הַשַּׁבָּ֖֜ת לְקַדְּשֽׁ֗וֹ׃ (ט) שֵׁ֤֣שֶׁת יָמִ֣ים֙ תַּֽעֲבֹ֔ד֮ וְעָשִׂ֖֣יתָ כׇּֿל־מְלַאכְתֶּֽךָ֒׃ (י) וְי֨וֹם֙ הַשְּׁבִיעִ֔֜י שַׁבָּ֖֣ת ׀ לַיהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑֗יךָ לֹֽ֣א־תַעֲשֶׂ֣֨ה כׇל־מְלָאכָ֜֡ה אַתָּ֣ה ׀ וּבִנְךָ֣͏ֽ־וּ֠בִתֶּ֗ךָ עַבְדְּךָ֤֨ וַאֲמָֽתְךָ֜֙ וּבְהֶמְתֶּ֔֗ךָ וְגֵרְךָ֖֙ אֲשֶׁ֥֣ר בִּשְׁעָרֶֽ֔יךָ׃ (יא) כִּ֣י שֵֽׁשֶׁת־יָמִים֩ עָשָׂ֨ה יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶת־הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם וְאֶת־הָאָ֗רֶץ אֶת־הַיָּם֙ וְאֶת־כׇּל־אֲשֶׁר־בָּ֔ם וַיָּ֖נַח בַּיּ֣וֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִ֑י עַל־כֵּ֗ן בֵּרַ֧ךְ יְהֹוָ֛ה אֶת־י֥וֹם הַשַּׁבָּ֖ת וַֽיְקַדְּשֵֽׁהוּ׃ {ס} (יב) כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃ {ס} (יג) לֹ֥֖א תִּֿרְצָ֖͏ֽח׃ {ס} לֹ֣֖א תִּֿנְאָ֑͏ֽף׃ {ס} לֹ֣֖א תִּֿגְנֹֽ֔ב׃ {ס} לֹֽא־תַעֲנֶ֥ה בְרֵעֲךָ֖ עֵ֥ד שָֽׁקֶר׃ {ס} (יד) לֹ֥א תַחְמֹ֖ד בֵּ֣ית רֵעֶ֑ךָ {ס} לֹֽא־תַחְמֹ֞ד אֵ֣שֶׁת רֵעֶ֗ךָ וְעַבְדּ֤וֹ וַאֲמָתוֹ֙ וְשׁוֹר֣וֹ וַחֲמֹר֔וֹ וְכֹ֖ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר לְרֵעֶֽךָ׃ {פ}

Exodus 20:1-14

(1) God spoke all these words, saying: (2) I the LORD am your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, the house of bondage: (3) You shall have no other gods besides Me. (4) You shall not make for yourself a sculptured image, or any likeness of what is in the heavens above, or on the earth below, or in the waters under the earth. (5) You shall not bow down to them or serve them. For I the LORD your God am an impassioned God, visiting the guilt of the parents upon the children, upon the third and upon the fourth generations of those who reject Me, (6) but showing kindness to the thousandth generation of those who love Me and keep My commandments. (7) You shall not swear falsely by^-b the name of the LORD your God; for the LORD will not clear one who swears falsely by His name. (8) Remember the sabbath day and keep it holy. (9) Six days you shall labor and do all your work, (10) but the seventh day is a sabbath of the LORD your God: you shall not do any work—you, your son or daughter, your male or female slave, or your cattle, or the stranger who is within your settlements. (11) For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth and sea, and all that is in them, and He rested on the seventh day; therefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day and hallowed it. (12) Honor your father and your mother, that you may long endure on the land that the LORD your God is assigning to you. (13) You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. (14) You shall not covet your neighbor’s house: you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female slave, or his ox or his ass, or anything that is your neighbor’s.

רש"י על שמות כ׳:ז׳

(א) לשוא. חִנָּם, לַהֶבֶל, וְאֵיזֶהוּ שְׁבוּעַת שָׁוְא? נִשְׁבַּע לְשַׁנּוֹת אֶת הַיָּדוּעַ – עַל עַמּוּד שֶׁל אֶבֶן שֶׁהוּא שֶׁל זָהָב (שבועות כ"ט):

Rashi on Exodus 20:7

(1) לשוא IN VAIN — for no valid reason, idly. What is a שבועת שוא, an oath taken for no valid reason? If one takes an oath declaring something, the nature of which is evident, to be different from what it is: e. g., swearing about a stone pillar that it is of gold (Shevuot 29a).

מי השלוח, חלק א, ספר שמות, יתרו ה׳

אנכי ה' אלקיך. ולא נאמר אני, כי אילו היה כתיב אני, היה משמע שגילה אז הקב"ה לישראל את כל אורו בשלימות ולא יוכלו אח"כ להעמיק בדבריו, כי כבר גילה הכל,

אך הכ"ף מורה שאינו בשלימות ורק דמות ודמיון הוא להאור שיגלה הקב"ה לעתיד, וכל מה שישיג האדם יותר עמקות בד"ת יראה שעד עכשיו היה בחושך.

וע"ז מרמז היום והלילה, היום היינו שהש"י פותח שערי החכמה לאדם והלילה היינו שלא ידמה האדם שהשיג הכל בשלימות, כי כל מה שהשיג הוא כלילה נגד היום הבא אחריו וכן לעולם,

וממילא הכל הוא לילה נגד האור שיפתח הקב"ה לעתיד.

וזה שנסמך מאמר לא תעשה לך פסל ...והענין בזה כי מלת פסל הוא דבר מחותך במדה וקצב ובהשלמה בלי חסרון שום דבר בעולם וזאת אינו נמצא רק בתורת מרע"ה, אבל בשכל אנושי אין באפשר לתקן דבר כזה בשלימות הגמור...כי לא נגלה לאדם שום דבר עד תכליתו.

Mei HaShiloach, Volume I, Exodus, Yitro 5

The text does not say “Ani,” for if it had done so, it would have suggested that the Holy Blessed One revealed all of God's light to Israel, in its fullness, and that thereafter they would not have been able to go deeper in God's words, for God had already revealed everything.

Thus the kaf [separating ani from anochi – ed.] teaches that it was not in its fullness, but rather an image, a likeness, of the light that God will reveal in the future. And all that a person will grasp in going deeper in the words of Torah will show that, until this point, they were in darkness.

Day and night suggest this reality. The day is when God opens the gates of wisdom to people. The night is so that the person will not think that they have grasped everything in its entirety. For all that they have grasped is like the nighttime, when compared to the daytime that will come afterwards.

Thus everything is nighttime in comparison to the light that God will open up in the future...

This is what is suggested by the conjunction of the verse “Do not make an idol (pesel).”...The idea here is that the word pesel means something which is cut, delimited, finished and without anything missing. But this is only found in the Torah of Moses. In human thought, nothing can be finished and made completely whole. ...For nothing is revealed to any person in its entirety.

“My father felt it was his duty to continue to treat animals long after he stopped getting paid. He couldn't stand by and watch a horse colic or a cow labor with a breech calf even though it meant personal ruin. The parallel is undeniable. There is no question I am the only thing standing between these animals and the business practices of August and Uncle Al, and what my father would do - what my father would want me to do - is look after them, and I am filled with that absolute and unwavering conviction. No matter what I did last night, I cannot leave these animals. I am their shepherd, their protector. And it's more than a duty. It's a covenant with my father.”
― Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants, 2006, Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill.
Sara Gruen (born 1969 in Vancouver^[1]) is an author with dual Canadian and U.S. citizenship. Her books often deal with animals and she supports numerous charitable organizations that support animals and wildlife

My father was a god and did not know it.
He gave me The Ten Commandments neither in thunder nor in furry; neither in fire nor in cloud
But rather in gentleness and love. And he added caresses and kind words
and he added "I beg You," and "please."
And he sang "keep" and "remember" the Shabbat
In a single melody and he pleaded and
cried quietly between one utterance and the next ,
"Do not take the name of God in vain," do not take it, not in vain,
I beg you, "do not bear false witness against your neighbor."
And he hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear
"Do not steal. Do not commit adultery. Do not murder."
And he put the palms of his open hands
On my head wit the Yom Kippur blessing.
"Honor, love, in order that your days might be long
On the earth." And my father's voice was white like the hair on his head.
Later on he turned his face to me one last time
Like on the day when he died in my arms and said
I want to add two more to the Ten Commandments:
The eleventh commandment - "Thou shall not change."
And the twelfth commandment - "Thou must surely change."
So said my father and then he turned from me and walked off
Disappearing into his strange distances.
Yehudah Amichai, Israeli Poet, 1924,2000
Open, Closed, Open (translated from the Hebrew).

ספרא, קדושים, פרשה א ד׳-ו׳

(ד) [ד] נאמר "איש אמו ואביו תיראו" ונאמר "את ה' אלקיך תירא". הקיש מורא אב ואם למורא המקום.

(ה) [ה] נאמר "כבד את אביך ואת אמך" ונאמר "כבד את ה' מהונך". הקיש כיבוד אב ואם לכיבוד המקום.

(ו) [ו] נאמר "מקלל אביו ואמו מות יומת" ונאמר "איש איש כי יקלל אלהיו ונשא חטאו". הקיש קללת אב ואם לקללת המקום.

Sifra, Kedoshim, Section 1 4-6

(4) 4) It is written "A man, his mother and his father, you shall fear," and (Devarim 6:13) "The L–rd your G d you shall fear." Scripture likens the fear of father and mother to fear of the L–rd."

(5) 5) It is written (Shemoth 19:12) "Honor your father and your mother" and (Mishlei 3:9) "Honor the L–rd from your wealth." Scripture likens honoring father and mother to honoring the L–rd.

(6) 6) It is written (Shemoth 20:17) "And he who curses his father and mother shall be put to death" and (Vayikra 24:15) "A man, a man, if he curse his G d, shall bear his sin." Scripture likens cursing of father and mother to cursing of the L–rd.