The Oral Talmud with Benay Lappe and Dan Libenson Episode 83

Rabbi Abbahu says in the name of Rabbi Ḥanina: It is preferable for a person to transgress in secret and not to desecrate the name of Heaven in public [befarhesya], as it is stated: “As for you, house of Israel, so says the Lord God: Go you, serve everyone his idols, even because you will not hearken to Me, but My sacred name you shall not profane” (Ezekiel 20:39).

Rabbi Ilai the Elder says: If a person sees that his inclination is overcoming him, he should go to a place where he is not known, and wear black, and he should cover himself in black, and he should do as his heart desires, but he should not desecrate the name of Heaven in public.

The Gemara asks: Is that so? But isn’t it taught in a baraita: Anyone who does not care about his Creator’s honor -- it is fitting for him not to have come into the world. What is this? Rabba says: This is one who gazes at a rainbow, which is described as: “The likeness of the glory of the Lord” (Ezekiel 1:28). Rav Yosef says: This is one who transgresses in secret. This is not difficult, as this is referring to one who can overcome his inclination. And that is referring to one who cannot overcome his inclination.

Rabbi Ilai the Elder says: If a person becomes aware that their creator יוצרו grows bold within them, let them utterly immerse themselves in the seeking and liberation, and let them turn to the Mercifully Omnipresent [la-makom] — for nobody else understands them — and let them do that which their heart treasures. But do not desecrate the Holy Name in public [by doing so among those that do not understand] and G-d אל will in that place שם carve out a heavenly shelter from the [denigrating] public.