Marriage
Pride and Prejudice. Chapter 1
(ה) שַׂמֵחַ תְּשַׁמַּח רֵעִים הָאֲהוּבִים, כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵדֶן מִקֶּדֶם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה.
(5) O make these loved companions greatly to rejoice, even as of old thou didst gladden thy creature in the garden of Eden. Blessed art thou, O Lord, who makest bridegroom and bride to rejoice.
(ו) בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה רִנָּה דִּיצָה וְחֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחְוָה וְשָׁלוֹם וְרֵעוּת. מְהֵרָה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלַיִם, קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחֻפָּתָם, וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה.
(6) Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, King of the universe, who hast created joy and gladness, bridegroom and bride, mirth and exultation, pleasure and delight, love, brotherhood, peace and fellowship. Soon may there be heard in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the jubilant voice of bridegrooms from their canopies, and of youths from their feasts of song. Blessed art thou, O Lord, who makest the bridegroom to rejoice with the bride.
(טז) כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁהִיא תְלוּיָה בְדָבָר, בָּטֵל דָּבָר, בְּטֵלָה אַהֲבָה. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְדָבָר, אֵינָהּ בְּטֵלָה לְעוֹלָם.
(16) All love that depends on a something, [when the] thing ceases, [the] love ceases; and [all love] that does not depend on anything, will never cease.
Rabba bar Rav Adda says that Rav says: In the case of anyone who marries a woman for the sake of money, he will have offspring who will act inappropriately, as it is stated: “They have dealt treacherously against the Lord, for they have begotten strange children; now shall the new moon devour them with their portions” (Hosea 5:7).
(כ) רַבִּי אוֹמֵר, אַל תִּסְתַּכֵּל בַּקַּנְקַן, אֶלָּא בְמַה שֶּׁיֶּשׁ בּוֹ. יֵשׁ קַנְקַן חָדָשׁ מָלֵא יָשָׁן, וְיָשָׁן שֶׁאֲפִלּוּ חָדָשׁ אֵין בּוֹ:
(20) Rabbi said: don’t look at the container but at that which is in it: there is a new container full of old wine, and an old [container] in which there is not even new [wine].
אמר רב אסור לאדם שיקדש את האשה עד שיראנה שמא יראה בה דבר מגונה ותתגנה עליו ורחמנא אמר (ויקרא יט, יח) ואהבת לרעך כמוך
Rav says: It is forbidden for a man to betroth a woman until he sees her, lest he see something repulsive in her after the betrothal, and she will become repugnant to him, which will cause him to hate her. And to prevent this violation of what the Merciful One states in the Torah: “And you shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18).
(א) אין מקדשין אלא לרצון האשה ובפני ב' עדים ובו ה סעיפים:
אין האשה מתקדשת אלא לרצונה והמקדש אשה בעל כרחה אינה מקודשת
(1) A woman can only become engaged by her will. One who engages a woman against her will, she is not engaged.
Wealth
Jewish tradition sees material possessions as a necessary but not sufficient basis for spiritual fulfillment. As Maimonides writes: "The general purpose of the Torah is twofold : The wellbeing of the soul and the wellbeing of the body. The wellbeing of the soul is ranked first...but the well being of the body comes first.." The well being of the soul is the most important, but the wellbeing of the body comes first , for it is the context for spiritual development. Thus , appreciation and enjoyment of material things is a spiritual concern . It all depends on how it is done. Prosperity frees the individual for personal development ; but worshiped or made absolute , wealth disrupts personal growth . In many ways, Sukkot has become the model for this worldly enjoyment, which is why it is called the time of rejoicing. The depth of the joy also grows out of its relationship to Yom Kippur . Sukkot comes just four days after Yom Kippur , the most ascetic , self -denying , guilt - ridden , awesome holy day of the Jewish year. On the Day of Atonement , Jews reenact their own death , only to be restored to life in the resolution of the day . Only those who know the fragility of life can truly appreciate the full preciousness of every moment The release from Yom Kippur leads to the extraordinary outburst of life that is Sukkot . On this holiday , Jews are commanded to eat, drink , be happy , dance , and relish life to the fullest in celebrating the harvest and personal wealth But making joy holy means being selective in the enjoyment of God's gifts, not worshiping those gifts or those who own them . The first and foremost expression of this insight is to share the bounty and the joy. Gifts from the harvest were given to the poor: "You shall rejoice before the Lord You, your son and daughter, manservant and maid, the Levite ... the stranger, the orphan, the widow in your midst" ( Deuteronomy 16:11).
In Lekh-Lekha we meet the two sides of Avraham’s personality: a prophet who merits divine revelations, receiving promises and a covenant from God; yet he is also a wealthy, down-to-earth man who fights against kings in the region and is victorious.
Avraham’s increasing wealth and social standing do not lessen his spirituality. Indeed, for each step he takes up the ladder of material success, the Torah describes the matching spiritual step he takes. After God appears to him, Avraham builds an altar (12:7), returning to it and calling out in God’s name (13:4). He builds an additional altar (13:18) and the priests of the surrounding nations bless God (14:19).
We can see expressions of Abraham’s kindness in the two facets of his personality, in the practical as well as in the spiritual sphere. He serves and fears God and, as a practical man, he spreads God’s name far and wide wherever he travels. He remains a humble, modest person despite his material wealth, and tries to influence his surroundings without expectation of any personal gain. Avraham says to the King of Sodom: "I raise my hand to the Lord, the Most High God, Who possesses heaven and earth. Neither from a thread to a shoe strap, nor will I take from whatever is yours, that you should not say, 'I have made Avram wealthy’.”(14:23)
We would do well to emulate the dual nature of Abraham’s personality.
(א) רְשׁוּת לְכָל אָדָם נְתוּנָה. אִם רָצָה לְהַטּוֹת עַצְמוֹ לְדֶרֶךְ טוֹבָה וְלִהְיוֹת צַדִּיק הָרְשׁוּת בְּיָדוֹ. וְאִם רָצָה לְהַטּוֹת עַצְמוֹ לְדֶרֶךְ רָעָה וְלִהְיוֹת רָשָׁע הָרְשׁוּת בְּיָדוֹ. הוּא שֶׁכָּתוּב בַּתּוֹרָה (בראשית ג כב) "הֵן הָאָדָם הָיָה כְּאַחַד מִמֶּנּוּ לָדַעַת טוֹב וָרָע". כְּלוֹמַר הֵן מִין זֶה שֶׁל אָדָם הָיָה יָחִיד בָּעוֹלָם וְאֵין מִין שֵׁנִי דּוֹמֶה לוֹ בְּזֶה הָעִנְיָן שֶׁיְּהֵא הוּא מֵעַצְמוֹ בְּדַעְתּוֹ וּבְמַחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ יוֹדֵעַ הַטּוֹב וְהָרַע וְעוֹשֶׂה כָּל מַה שֶּׁהוּא חָפֵץ וְאֵין מִי שֶׁיְּעַכֵּב בְּיָדוֹ מִלַּעֲשׂוֹת הַטּוֹב אוֹ הָרַע. וְכֵיוָן שֶׁכֵּן הוּא פֶּן יִשְׁלַח יָדוֹ:
(1) Every man was endowed with a free will; if he desires to bend himself toward the good path and to be just it is within the power of his hand to reach out for it, and if he desires to bend himself to a bad path and to be wicked it is within the power of his hand to reach out for it. This is known from what it is written in the Torah, saying: "Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil" (Gen. 3.22), that is as if saying: "Behold, this species, man, stands alone in the world, and there is no other kind like him, as regards this subject of being able of his own accord, by his reason and thought, to know the good and the evil, and to do whatever his inclination dictates him with none to stay his hand from either doing good or evil; and, being that he is so, 'Lest he put forth his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever'" (Ibid.)
We have trespassed [against God and man, and we are devastated by our guilt]; We have betrayed [God and man, we have been ungrateful for the good done to us]; We have stolen; We have slandered. We have caused others to sin; We have caused others to commit sins for which they are called רְשָׁעִים, wicked; We have sinned with malicious intent; We have forcibly taken others' possessions even though we paid for them; We have added falsehood upon falsehood; We have joined with evil individuals or groups; We have given harmful advice; We have deceived; we have mocked…
עַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּאֹֽנֶס וּבְרָצוֹן: וְעַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּאִמּוּץ הַלֵּב: עַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בִּבְלִי דָֽעַת: וְעַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּבִטּוּי שְׂפָתָֽיִם: עַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּגָלוּי וּבַסָּֽתֶר: וְעַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּגִלּוּי עֲרָיוֹת: עַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּדִבּוּר פֶּה: וְעַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּדַעַת וּבְמִרְמָה: עַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּהַרְהוֹר הַלֵּב: וְעַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּהוֹנָֽאַת רֵֽעַ: עַל חֵטְא שֶׁחָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ בְּוִדּוּי פֶּה:
For the sin we committed before You under compulsion and willingly. And for the sin we committed before You by callously hardening the heart. For the sin we committed before You inadvertently. And for the sin we committed before You with an utterance of the lips. For the sin we committed before You openly and secretly. And for the sin we committed before You in sexual immorality. For the sin we committed before You through [misuse of our power of] speech. And for the sin we committed before You with knowledge and with deceit. For the sin we committed before You by improper thoughts. And for the sin we committed before You by cheating a fellow-man. For the sin we committed before You with [mere] verbal confession.