אקמצא ובר קמצא חרוב ירושלים. דההוא גברא דרחמיה קמצא ובעל דבביה בר קמצא. עבד סעודתא אמר ליה לשמעיה: זיל אייתי לי קמצא. אזל אייתי ליה בר קמצא. אתא אשכחיה דהוה יתיב. אמר ליה: מכדי ההוא גברא בעל דבבא דההוא גברא הוא. מאי בעית הכא. קום פוק. אמר ליה הואיל ואתאי שבקן ויהיבנא לך דמי מה דאכילנא ושתינא.
Jerusalem was destroyed on account of Kamtza and bar Kamtza. This is as there was a certain man whose friend was named Kamtza and whose enemy was named bar Kamtza. He once made a large feast and said to his servant: Go bring me my friend Kamtza. The servant went and mistakenly brought him his enemy bar Kamtza. The man who was hosting the feast came and found bar Kamtza sitting at the feast. The host said to bar Kamtza. That man is the enemy [ba’al devava] of that man. What do you want here? Arise and leave. Bar Kamtza said to him: Since I have already come, let me stay and I will give you money for whatever I eat and drink.
אמר ליה לא אמר ליה יהיבנא לך דמי פלגא דסעודתיך אמר ליה לא אמר ליה יהיבנא לך דמי כולה סעודתיך א"ל לא נקטיה בידיה ואוקמיה ואפקיה אמר הואיל והוו יתבי רבנן ולא מחו ביה ש"מ קא ניחא להו איזיל איכול בהו קורצא בי מלכא אזל אמר ליה לקיסר מרדו בך יהודאי א"ל מי יימר א"ל שדר להו קורבנא חזית אי מקרבין ליה
The host said to him: No, you must leave. Bar Kamtza said to him: I will give you money for half of the feast; just do not send me away. The host said to him: No, you must leave. Bar Kamtza then said to him: I will give you money for the entire feast; just let me stay. The host said to him: No, you must leave. Finally, the host took bar Kamtza by his hand, stood him up, and took him out. After having been cast out from the feast, bar Kamtza said to himself: Since the Sages were sitting there and did not protest, learn from it that they were content with what he did. I will therefore go and inform [eikhul kurtza] against them to the king. He went and said to the emperor: The Jews have rebelled against you.
אסמכתא מקרא אני לדודי ודודי לי. ר"ת אלול וס"ת עולה מ' --כנגד ארבעים יום מר"ח אלול עד יוה"כ. כי באלו ארבעים יום התשובה מקובלת --להיות לבו קרוב אל דודו בתשובה. ואז דודו קרוב לו, לקבל תשובתו מאהבה:
(1) There is a hint in the verse “I am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me” (Ani L’Dodi v’Dodi Li - Shir Hashirim) that the first letters spell Elul and the last letters have a numerical value of 40. This alludes to the forty days from the beginning of Elul until Yom Kippur for during these forty days repentance is [more readily] accepted so a person should bring their heart near to their Beloved [G-d] with repentance, and then the Beloved will be close to them to accept the repentance with love.
אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵֽינוּ. אַל תַּעַזְבֵֽנוּ. וְאַל תִּטְּשֵֽׁנוּ. וְאַל תַּכְלִימֵֽנוּ. וְאַל תָּפֵר בְרִיתְךָ אִתָּֽנוּ. קָרְבֵֽנוּ לְתוֹרָתֶֽךָ. לַמְּדֵֽנוּ מִצְוֹתֶֽיךָ. הוֹרֵֽנוּ דְרָכֶֽיךָ. הַט לִבֵּֽנוּ לְיִרְאָה אֶת שְׁמֶֽךָ. וּמוֹל אֶת לְבָבֵֽנוּ לְאַהֲבָתֶֽךָ. וְנָשׁוּב אֵלֶֽיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם. וּלְמַֽעַן שִׁמְךָ הַגָּדוֹל תִּמְחֹל וְתִסְלַח לַעֲוֹנֵֽינוּ כַּכָּתוּב בְּדִבְרֵי קָדְשֶֽׁךָ לְמַֽעַן שִׁמְךָ יְהֹוָה וְסָלַחְתָּ לַעֲוֹנִי כִּי רַב הוּא:
Our God and God of our fathers! Do not forsake us, do not cast us off, and do not disgrace us; and do not nullify Your covenant with us. Draw us near to Your Torah, teach us Your commandments, direct us to Your ways. Incline our hearts to fear Your Name, and open our hearts to Your love, and may we return to You in truth, and with a perfect heart. And for the sake of Your great Name, forgive and pardon our iniquity, as it is written in the words of Your holiness, “For the sake of Your Name, Adonoy, pardon my iniquity for it is great.”
כִּי אָֽנוּ עַמֶּֽךָ וְאַתָּה אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ. אָֽנוּ בָנֶֽיךָ וְאַתָּה אָבִֽינוּ: אָֽנוּ עֲבָדֶֽיךָ וְאַתָּה אֲדוֹנֵֽנוּ. אָֽנוּ קְהָלֶֽךָ וְאַתָּה חֶלְקֵֽנוּ: אָֽנוּ נַחֲלָתֶֽךָ וְאַתָּה גוֹרָלֵֽנוּ. אָֽנוּ צֹאנֶֽךָ וְאַתָּה רוֹעֵֽנוּ: אָֽנוּ כַרְמֶּֽךָ וְאַתָּה נוֹטְרֵֽנוּ. אָֽנוּ פְעֻלָּתֶֽךָ וְאַתָּה יוֹצְרֵֽנוּ: אָֽנוּ רַעְיָתֶֽךָ וְאַתָּה דוֹדֵֽנוּ. אָֽנוּ סְגֻלָּתֶֽךָ וְאַתָּה אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ. אָֽנוּ עַמֶּֽךָ וְאַתָּה מַלְכֵּֽנוּ: אָֽנוּ מַאֲמִירֶֽיךָ וְאַתָּה מַאֲמִירֵֽנוּ:
For we are Your people; and You are our God. We are Your children; and You are our Father. We are Your servants; and You are our Master. We are Your congregation; and You are our Portion. We are Your inheritance; and You are our Destiny. We are Your flock; and You are our Shepherd. We are Your vineyard; and You are our Keeper. We are Your work; and You are our Creator. We are Your dear ones and You are our Beloved. We are Your treasure; and You are our God. We are Your people; and You are our King. We are Your distinguished ones; and You are our Distinction.
In Rav Kook’s book “Orot Hateshuva”, Rav Kook talks of returning to one's self and writes:
‘When we forget the essence of our own soul… everything becomes confused and in doubt. The primary teshuva, that which immediately lights the darkness, is when a person returns to himself, to the root of his soul – then he will immediately return to God, to the soul of all souls’.
But the greatest desire of all is to be
In the dream of another
To feel a slight pull, like reins,
To feel a heavy pull, like chains.”
The Selected Poetry Of Yehuda Amichai
By Yehuda Amichai
Raymond Carver
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
Love
by Czeslaw Milosz
Love means to learn to look at yourself
The way one looks at distant things
For you are only one thing among many.
And whoever sees that way heals his heart,
Without knowing it, from various ills.
A bird and a tree say to him: Friend.
Then he wants to use himself and things
So that they stand in the glow of ripeness.
It doesn’t matter whether he knows what he serves:
Who serves best doesn’t always understand.