Emet - Truth- Mussar

Defining Emet- Truth

“Truth is not something we discover at one time. That is how things are for God, but not for us. For Judaism, truth—as understood and internalized by humanity—is a developmental process. That is why so much of the Bible is narrative and so many of its books are works of history.”
Morinis, Alan. Everyday Holiness: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar (pp. 170-171). Shambhala. Kindle Edition.

Truth is delicate. Its fabric is so easily stretched and torn. Truth is versatile—look at how many causes will readily sacrifice truth to some other goal. Truth can be simple, but more often it is deceptively complex, and not always singular. And as the Alter of Novarodok teaches, we are easily confused about truth, because truth can appear before us in the guise of falsehood, just as falsehood can show up in the trappings of truth.
Morinis, Alan. Everyday Holiness: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar (p. 166). Shambhala. Kindle Edition.

Text 1

כתובות ט״ז ב:י״ב-י״ז א:א׳

תנו רבנן כיצד מרקדין לפני הכלה בית שמאי אומרים כלה כמות שהיא ובית הלל אומרים כלה נאה וחסודה אמרו להן ב"ש לב"ה הרי שהיתה חיגרת או סומא אומרי' לה כלה נאה וחסודה והתורה אמרה (שמות כג, ז) מדבר שקר תרחק אמרו להם ב"ה לב"ש לדבריכם מי שלקח מקח רע מן השוק ישבחנו בעיניו או יגננו בעיניו הוי אומר ישבחנו בעיניו מכאן אמרו חכמים לעולם תהא דעתו של אדם מעורבת עם הבריות

Ketubot 16b:12-17a:1

§ The Sages taught: How does one dance before the bride, i.e., what does one recite while dancing at her wedding? Beit Shammai say: One recites praise of the bride as she is, emphasizing her good qualities. And Beit Hillel say: One recites: A fair and attractive bride. Beit Shammai said to Beit Hillel: In a case where the bride was lame or blind, does one say with regard to her: A fair and attractive bride? But the Torah states: “Keep you from a false matter” (Exodus 23:7). Beit Hillel said to Beit Shammai: According to your statement, with regard to one who acquired an inferior acquisition from the market, should another praise it and enhance its value in his eyes or condemn it and diminish its value in his eyes? You must say that he should praise it and enhance its value in his eyes and refrain from causing him anguish. From here the Sages said: A person’s disposition should always be empathetic with mankind, and treat everyone courteously. In this case too, once the groom has married his bride, one praises her as being fair and attractive.

ישבחוה לגמרי, דכשמזכרינין מה שיש בה לשבחוה, מכלל דשאר לגנאי

Tosofot:

Give her complete praise, and praise her for the praiseworthy things, and by implication, also the things that are not so nice

ואם יש בה מום, ישתקו, ולא ישבחוה. אי נמי, ישבחוה בדבר נאה שיש בה, כגון בעיניה או בידיה אם הם יפות

Tosofot:

If she has a blemish, you should keep quiet about it and not praise it. Alternatively you should praise something that actually is beautiful about her. for example, her eyes or her hands.

Questions for Consideration:
1. How might Hillel define truth (emet)? How might Shamai?
2. What does this debate suggest about how we express truth in difficult situations?
3. The rabbis close by saying that "a person's mind should be in touch with the emotions of others." When have you had to use discretion about the truth in your own life?

Text 2

עירובין נ״ג ב:י״ח-י״ט

אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן חֲנַנְיָה: מִיָּמַי לֹא נִצְּחַנִי אָדָם חוּץ מֵאִשָּׁה תִּינוֹק וְתִינוֹקֶת. אִשָּׁה מַאי הִיא? פַּעַם אַחַת נִתְאָרַחְתִּי אֵצֶל אַכְסַנְיָא אַחַת, עָשְׂתָה לִי פּוֹלִין בְּיוֹם רִאשׁוֹן — אֲכַלְתִּים וְלֹא שִׁיַּירְתִּי מֵהֶן כְּלוּם. שְׁנִיָּיה, וְלֹא שִׁיַּירְתִּי מֵהֶן כְּלוּם. בְּיוֹם שְׁלִישִׁי הִקְדִּיחָתַן בְּמֶלַח, כֵּיוָן שֶׁטָּעַמְתִּי — מָשַׁכְתִּי יָדַי מֵהֶן. אָמְרָה לִי: רַבִּי, מִפְּנֵי מָה אֵינְךָ סוֹעֵד? אָמַרְתִּי לָהּ: כְּבָר סָעַדְתִּי מִבְּעוֹד יוֹם.

Eruvin 53b:18-19

Rabbi Yehoshua ben Ḥananya said said: One time I was staying at a certain inn and the hostess prepared me beans. On the first day I ate them and left nothing over, although proper etiquette dictates that one should leave over something on his plate. On the second day I again ate and left nothing over. On the third day she over-salted them so that they were inedible. As soon as I tasted them, I withdrew my hands from them. She said to me: My Rabbi, why aren’t you eating beans as on the previous days? Not wishing to offend her, I said to her: I have already eaten during the daytime.

Questions for Consideration:
1. When you go to a restaurant, how do you deal with a dish that is served improperly? Which is more of a valuable middah, truth about the meal or not hurting the feelings of the chef?
2. What might you do in Yehoshua Ben Hania's situation?
3. What does this text tell us about the nature of truth?

Text 3

Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach was being considered to head a yeshiva in Jerusalem, and so he was invited to deliver a lecture before the community. Not long after he had begun, he was interrupted with a question. After a few seconds of silence, Rabbi Auerbach declared, “Ta’iti” (I’m mistaken). He then began a new topic, which was the focus of the remainder of his lecture. When he returned home, his wife asked how it had gone. “Not so well,” Reb Shlomo Zalman replied. “I had hardly begun when I admitted to a mistake. Actually, I had three different answers to offer. But I felt that the question was closer to the truth than any of my answers.” Rabbi Shlomo Zalman was hired for the position. Years later, the man who had asked the difficult question revealed, “When I asked him that question and he responded, ‘I’m mistaken,’ it was clear to me that with such a level of emes [truth], he should be our Rosh Yeshiva!” Rabbi Auerbach had passed the test.
Morinis, Alan. Everyday Holiness: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar (p. 164). Shambhala. Kindle Edition.

Questions for Consideration:
1. How is admitting a mistake an expression of truth?
2. When have you given a good answer to a question that you felt was less than truthful?

Text 3

משנה אבות א׳:י״ח

(יח) רַבָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אוֹמֵר, עַל שְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים הָעוֹלָם עוֹמֵד, עַל הַדִּין וְעַל הָאֱמֶת וְעַל הַשָּׁלוֹם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (זכריה ח) אֱמֶת וּמִשְׁפַּט שָׁלוֹם שִׁפְטוּ בְּשַׁעֲרֵיכֶם:

Pirkei Avot 1:18

(18) Rabban Shimon ben Gamaliel used to say: on three things does the world stand: On justice, on truth and on peace, as it is said: “execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates” (Zechariah 8:16).

Questions for Consideration:
1. Why do you think truth is so fundamental to the functioning of the world?
2. What happens when truth is no longer valued?
3. A different rabbi comments that the world stands on: "Torah, worship, and acts of loving kindness." What do you think is the difference in the ways that the two rabbis perceive the world.

Text 4

Rabbi Salanter gave a regular Talmudic discourse. One day, a student asked a very sharp question that seemed to undermine the entire argument Rabbi Salanter was making. He paused for a moment, then he conceded the point and stepped down from the dais. Later he told his students about what he had thought in the moment before he stepped down. In that instant at least five acceptable answers came to his mind to refute the question. Even though he could see that they were not ultimately true, he knew it was unlikely that anyone in the audience would see through them as he could. He was tempted to try them, even for positive reasons: his admission of failure might cause the Torah he represented to lose honor, and he himself might lose face, and that might negatively impact his ability to affect people positively. After these thoughts, he chastised himself. “You study Mussar!” he said to himself. “Admit the truth.” And he stepped down.
Morinis, Alan. Everyday Holiness: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar (p. 172). Shambhala. Kindle Edition.

Questions for Consideration
1. When have you given an answer that was more clever than true?
2. How is truth connected here to humility?

שבת נ״ה א:י״ב

וְרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ אָמַר: ״תָּיו״ — סוֹף חוֹתָמוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, דְּאָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא: חוֹתָמוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא ״אֱמֶת״. (אָמַר) רַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר נַחְמָנִי [אָמַר]: אֵלּוּ בְּנֵי אָדָם שֶׁקִּיְּמוּ אֶת הַתּוֹרָה כֻּלָּהּ מֵאָלֶף וְעַד תָּיו.

Shabbat 55a:12

And Reish Lakish said: The letter tav is the last letter of the seal of the Holy One, Blessed be He, as Rabbi Ḥanina said: The seal of the Holy One, Blessed be He, is truth [emet], which ends with the letter tav. Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥmani said: The letter tav teaches that these are people who observed the entire Torah from alef through tav.