Vayigash: Overwhelming Emotions

Then Judah went up to him and said, “Please, my lord, let your servant appeal to my lord, and do not be impatient with your servant, you who are the equal of Pharaoh. My lord asked his servants, ‘Have you a father or another brother?’ We told my lord, ‘We have an old father, and there is a child of his old age, the youngest; his full brother is dead, so that he alone is left of his mother, and his father dotes on him.’ Then you said to your servants, ‘Bring him down to me, that I may set eyes on him.’ We said to my lord, ‘The boy cannot leave his father; if he were to leave him, his father would die.’ But you said to your servants, ‘Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, do not let me see your faces.’ When we came back to your servant my father, we reported my lord’s words to him. “Later our father said, ‘Go back and procure some food for us.’ We answered, ‘We cannot go down; only if our youngest brother is with us can we go down, for we may not show our faces to the man unless our youngest brother is with us.’ Your servant my father said to us, ‘As you know, my wife bore me two sons. But one is gone from me, and I said: Alas, he was torn by a beast! And I have not seen him since. If you take this one from me, too, and he meets with disaster, you will send my white head down to Sheol in sorrow.’ “Now, if I come to your servant my father and the boy is not with us—since his own life is so bound up with his— when he sees that the boy is not with us, he will die, and your servants will send the white head of your servant our father down to Sheol in grief. Now your servant has pledged himself for the boy to my father, saying, ‘If I do not bring him back to you, I shall stand guilty before my father forever.’ Therefore, please let your servant remain as a slave to my lord instead of the boy, and let the boy go back with his brothers. For how can I go back to my father unless the boy is with me? Let me not be witness to the woe that would overtake my father!” Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone withdraw from me!” So there was no one else about when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. His sobs were so loud that the Egyptians could hear, and so the news reached Pharaoh’s palace. Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dumfounded were they on account of him. Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come forward to me.” And when they came forward, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, he whom you sold into Egypt. Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you. It is now two years that there has been famine in the land, and there are still five years to come in which there shall be no yield from tilling. God has sent me ahead of you to ensure your survival on earth, and to save your lives in an extraordinary deliverance. So, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, lord of all his household, and ruler over the whole land of Egypt. “Now, hurry back to my father and say to him: Thus says your son Joseph, ‘God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me without delay. You will dwell in the region of Goshen, where you will be near me—you and your children and your grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all that is yours. There I will provide for you—for there are yet five years of famine to come—that you and your household and all that is yours may not suffer want.’ You can see for yourselves, and my brother Benjamin for himself, that it is indeed I who am speaking to you. And you must tell my father everything about my high station in Egypt and all that you have seen; and bring my father here with all speed.” With that he embraced his brother Benjamin around the neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck. He kissed all his brothers and wept upon them; only then were his brothers able to talk to him.

איך אעלה אל אבי והנער איננו אתי, "for how could I go up and face my father when the lad is not with me?" Yehudah meant that even if he were not guilty of failing to honour his guarantee, how could he look at the anguish of his father. Perhaps he meant to explain why they had all offered themselves as slaves to Joseph already previously. They could not bear to return to Canaan and face their father without Benjamin.

ולא יכל יוסף להתאפק לכל הנצבים AND JOSEPH COULD NOT REFRAIN HIMSELF BEFORE ALL THEM THAT STOOD — He could not bear that the Egyptians should stand by him witnessing how his brothers would be put to shame when he made himself known to them.

להתאפק לכל הנצבים עליו, he did not have the patience at this stage to deal with the private concerns of all the people who were awaiting to receive an audience and were already lining up in that house.

כי נבהלו מפניו, “for they were frightened of him.” They were afraid of what he might do to them as reprisals for what they had done to him.

העוד אבי חי “is my father still alive?” Joseph’s very first words concerned the well being of his father and the concern if he was still alive.
ולא יכלו אחיו לענות אותו כי נבהלו מפניו, “his brothers were not able to answer him as they had become frightened of him.” They were dumbstruck realizing that they had sold him into slavery and now he wielded the authority of a king. They were also scared that he would take revenge on them now. The expression נבהלו occurs in that sense in Isaiah 13,8 ונבהלו צירים וחבלים יאחזון, “And, overcome by terror, they shall be seized by pangs and throes.” According to Tanchuma Vayigash 5 Joseph said to them: “did you not say: ‘this one’s brother is dead?’ I shall call upon him now and he will come to me.” Thereupon he started calling: “Joseph, son of Yaakov, come to me!.” The brothers looked at each of the four corners of the room and nothing happened. Then Joseph said: “what are you looking for, I am your brother Joseph!” When the brothers heard that they lost consciousness. This is why they could not answer him. Rabbi Yochanan used this experience of Joseph’s brothers to exclaim “woe to us on the day of our death, woe to us when we will be called upon to answer for our sins.” If the brothers were so stricken when they heard Joseph reveal himself to his them, how much more will we be frightened when we stand before G’d to be judged! This is what is meant by the verse in Isaiah 10,3: “What will you do on the day of punishment, when the calamity comes from afar?” Another verse on the same theme is found in Maleachi 3,2: “But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can hold out when he appears?”