Save "Chayei Sarah: Burying our Dead Together"
Chayei Sarah: Burying our Dead Together

(א) בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּ֒שָֽׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ לַעֲסֹק בְּדִבְרֵי תוֹרָה:

(1) Blessed are You, Adonoy our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to be engrossed in the words of Torah.

(א) וְאַבְרָהָ֣ם זָקֵ֔ן בָּ֖א בַּיָּמִ֑ים וַֽיהוָ֛ה בֵּרַ֥ךְ אֶת־אַבְרָהָ֖ם בַּכֹּֽל׃

(1) Abraham was now old, advanced in years, and Hashem had blessed Abraham in all things.

הי רבי יהודה אילימא רבי יהודה דבכל דתניא (בראשית כד, א) וה' ברך את אברהם בכל רבי מאיר אומר שלא היה לו בת רבי יהודה אומר שהיתה לו בת ובכל שמה אימור דשמעת ליה לרבי יהודה ברתא נמי לא חסריה רחמנא לאברהם דעדיפא מבן מי שמעת ליה

The Gemara asks: Which statement of Rabbi Yehuda is this referring to? If we say it is referring to the statement of Rabbi Yehuda with regard to the term “with everything [bakkol],” that is difficult. The Gemara cites Rabbi Yehuda’s statement. As it is taught in a baraita: “And Abraham was old, well stricken in age; and the Lord had blessed Abraham with everything [bakkol]” (Genesis 24:1). Rabbi Meir says: The blessing was that he did not have a daughter. Rabbi Yehuda says: The blessing was that he had a daughter, and her name was Bakkol. One could tentatively understand, according to R. Yehudah: "that a daughter also was not kept from him by the Merciful One," that a daughter is better than a son.

From Bakol, Mikol, Kol: The Blessing of Avraham's Mythic Daughter, by Margot Hughes Robinson, at https://mechonhadar.s3.amazonaws.com/mh_torah_source_sheets/AZ2018HughesRobinsonBakol.pdf
. . .with all of these threads of inquiry and commentary, what might we conclude about Bakol? Our understanding allows us to draw a rough sketch of the much younger sister to two great nations, the daughter of Avraham and Sarah, dying young but sometime aer the death of both of her parents. Bakol might have witnessed the price her family unit paid for being the originators of a monotheistic covenant: a half-brother she barely knew, cast out into the wilderness with his mother; the silence between her brother Yitzhak and her father Avraham aer they returned from their fateful journey on Mount Moriah; her mother’s subsequent death, and the search for a wife for her brother. Perhaps the little kaf of ve-livkotah does hint at Avraham’s double-pronged mourning: for his late wife, and for the small daughter she le behind to be raised in a family of fractious holy men
(ז) וְאֵ֗לֶּה יְמֵ֛י שְׁנֵֽי־חַיֵּ֥י אַבְרָהָ֖ם אֲשֶׁר־חָ֑י מְאַ֥ת שָׁנָ֛ה וְשִׁבְעִ֥ים שָׁנָ֖ה וְחָמֵ֥שׁ שָׁנִֽים׃ (ח) וַיִּגְוַ֨ע וַיָּ֧מָת אַבְרָהָ֛ם בְּשֵׂיבָ֥ה טוֹבָ֖ה זָקֵ֣ן וְשָׂבֵ֑עַ וַיֵּאָ֖סֶף אֶל־עַמָּֽיו׃ (ט) וַיִּקְבְּר֨וּ אֹת֜וֹ יִצְחָ֤ק וְיִשְׁמָעֵאל֙ בָּנָ֔יו אֶל־מְעָרַ֖ת הַמַּכְפֵּלָ֑ה אֶל־שְׂדֵ֞ה עֶפְרֹ֤ן בֶּן־צֹ֙חַר֙ הַֽחִתִּ֔י אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־פְּנֵ֥י מַמְרֵֽא׃ (י) הַשָּׂדֶ֛ה אֲשֶׁר־קָנָ֥ה אַבְרָהָ֖ם מֵאֵ֣ת בְּנֵי־חֵ֑ת שָׁ֛מָּה קֻבַּ֥ר אַבְרָהָ֖ם וְשָׂרָ֥ה אִשְׁתּֽוֹ׃
(7) This was the total span of Abraham’s life: one hundred and seventy-five years. (8) And Abraham breathed his last, dying at a good ripe age, old and contented; and he was gathered to his kin. (9) His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron son of Zohar the Hittite, facing Mamre, (10) the field that Abraham had bought from the Hittites; there Abraham was buried, and Sarah his wife.
זקן ושבע. לפי שנתברך אברהם בכל דבר והיה שלם בכל מיני העושר והכבוד הגיד עתה שיצא מן העוה"ז זקן ושבע מכל טוב. ולזה לא אמר ושבע ימים כי היה במשמע שהיה חסר משאר הדברים ולא שבע מהם כי אם החיים. וע"כ הגיד לנו הכתוב מדותיו הטובות שיצא שבע מן העולם מכל דבר כי לא היה מתאוה למותרות. כענין שכתוב בדוד ע"ה (תהילים כ״א:ג׳) תאות לבו נתתה לו. ולא כשאר בני העולם שכתוב (קהלת ה׳:ט׳) אוהב כסף לא ישבע כסף. וכן דרשו רז"ל אין אדם יוצא מן העולם וחצי תאותו בידו. יש בידו מנה מתאוה מאתים יש בידו מאתים מתאוה לעשות ד' מאות. שנאמר אוהב כסף לא ישבע כסף.

זקן ושבע ימים, “old and content.” Seeing that the Torah had told us previously that Avraham had been blessed by G’d in all that mattered, and that he had been the recipient of material wealth and honour of every conceivable kind, the Torah tells us that because of this he died without any regrets, did not feel that there were things he had not been able to achieve. This was in pronounced contrast to the fate of the average person of whom we are told in Kohelet Rabbah 1,34 that “when a person dies, half his aspirations in life for acquisitions went unfulfilled.” If he had once made the acquisition of say 1 million his objective, he had raised this objective as soon as he had realised it, so that when he died he had felt cheated by life. The author of Kohelet called this syndrome אהב כסף לא ישבע כסף, “he who loves silver will never get enough of it (Kohelet 5,9).”

יצחק וישמעאל. מִכָּאן שֶׁעָשָׂה יִשְׁמָעֵאל תְּשׁוּבָה וְהוֹלִיךְ אֶת יִצְחָק לְפָנָיו, וְהִיא שֵׂיבָה טוֹבָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בְּאַבְרָהָם (בראשית רבה):
יצחק וישמעאל ISAAC AND ISHMAEL — From this we gather that Ishmael repented of his evil ways (cf.Bava Batra 16b) and yielded the precedence to Isaac. This is what is meant by the “good old age” mentioned in connection with Abraham (Genesis Rabbah 38:12).
והא ישמעאל דכתיב ביה גויעה ואסיפה אדהכי איתער בהו רבא אמר להו דרדקי הכי א"ר יוחנן ישמעאל עשה תשובה בחיי אביו שנאמר (בראשית כה, ט) ויקברו אותו יצחק וישמעאל בניו

Ravina asked: But isn’t there Ishmael, about whom gevia and asifa are written, as it is stated: “And these are the years of the life of Yishmael…and he expired and died [vayyigva vayyamot]; and was gathered to his people” (Genesis 25:17)? Meanwhile Rava, who had heard the discussion in his dozed state, fully awoke and said to them: Children [dardekei], this is what Rabbi Yoḥanan says: Ishmael repented in the lifetime of his father, as it is stated: “And Isaac and Ishmael, his sons, buried him” (Genesis 25:9).

יצחק וישמעאל בניו. דאברהם הודיע לישמעאל דבר ה׳ כי אע״ג שהוא בנו לכל דבר מכ״מ במה שנוגע ליצחק הוא כאחר. וישמעאל לא סר מדבר ה׳ ע״י אביו. וע״כ לא ערער על הירושה ומש״ה גם בכבוד הקדימו ליצחק ורז״ל למדו מזה דישמעאל עשה תשובה וקבל עליו שבמקום שנוגע לכבודו של יצחק אינו כבן אבל אחר שהי׳ יצחק בראש ושוב אינו נוגע לו ה״ה ג״כ בן ממש:
His sons Yitzchok and Yishmael. Avraham informed Yishmael of Hashem’s decree that although he was his son in all other ways, with respect to Yitzchok it was as if he was a stranger. From the fact that he accepted this bitter message the Sages derived that he was a true penitent.
From Bakol, Mikol, Kol: The Blessing of Avraham's Mythic Daughter, by Margot Hughes Robinson, at https://mechonhadar.s3.amazonaws.com/mh_torah_source_sheets/AZ2018HughesRobinsonBakol.pdf
Bakol does not appear in this episode, neither in peshat or traditional commentary, but we may find in this moment of family reconciliation a hint of the forgotten sister. Perhaps the daughter who had so blessed Avraham had continued to live with him, aer his sons grew up and moved away, and the Patriarch married Keturah and started a third family.
Just as Sarah and Rivkah endured literarily “rhyming” trials of concealed identity and sister-wifehood in the court of King Avimelekh in Bereishit 20 and 26, Bakol could have lived a life in parallel to with her cousins, the daughters of Lot. These two women sleep with their father—Avraham’s nephew and former heir—after their mother is killed in their exodus from Sodom. Fearing that they will be alone and unpartnered, Lot’s daughters push their father to drink himself into a stupor, and copulate with their father, becoming pregnant (Bereishit 19:31-38).
Instead of an episode of existential anxiety culminating in incest, perhaps we could we could imagine Bakol’s rhyming story as an intertextual, midrashic complement to her cousins’ fateful decisions. Rather of becoming another cast-out, violating, or nearly-sacrificed child like her cousins and brothers, one could imagine Bakol living alongside her father aer her mother’s death and her brothers’ departures in a quiet healing. Perhaps it was with this last child of covenant that Avraham was able to form a parent-child relationship rooted not in violence and divine injunction, but in healthy relationship. Perhaps we could imagine Bakol as the silent, healing matriarch, who stands among her turbulent family members as an example of familial love, free of rivalry or exploitation, behind the scenes, imbuing monotheism’s first family with the only blessing that seems to escape them: healthy relationship.