פעם אחת אמר רבנו, ר' חיים מצאנז, משל: אדם תועה כמה ימים ביער ולא היה יודע איזוהי דרך נכונה. פתאום ראה אדם אחר הולך לקראתו. באה שמחה גדולה בלבו, עתה בוודאי ידע הדרך הנכונה. כיוון שפגשו זה בזה שאל אותו: אחי, אמור לי היכן הדרך הנכונה, זה כמה ימים אני תועה. אמר לו: אחי, אף אני איני יודע, שאף אני תועה כאן כבר כמה ימים, אלא אומר לך בדרך שהלכתי אני, יכול לומר לך, שבדרך זו תועים. ועכשיו נחפש דרך חדשה. כן אנחנו, דבר זה אני יכול לומר לכם, שבדרך שהלכנו עד עכשיו אין לנו ללכת, שבדרך זו תועים. אלא עכשיו נחפש דרך חדשה. [ימים נוראים, ש"י עגנון]
Shai Agnon, Days of Awe, 22
Once our master Rabbi Hayyim of Zans [19th cent.] told a parable : A man had been wandering about in a forest for several days, not knowing which was the right way out. Suddenly he saw a man approaching him. His heart was filled with joy. "Now I shall certainly find out which is the right way," he thought to himself. When they neared one another, he asked the man, "Brother, tell me which is the right way. I have been wandering about in this forest for several days." Said the other to him, "Brother, I do not know the way out either. For I too have been wandering about here for many, many days. But this I can tell you: do not take the way I have been taking, for that will lead you astray. And now let us look for a new way out together." Our master added : "So it is with us. One thing I can tell you : the way we have been following this far we ought follow no further, for that way leads one astray. But now let us look for a new way.
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.
[The days] from Rosh Chodesh Elul until after Yom Kippur, are days of Divine favor [and acceptance.] Even though throughout the entire year the Holy One, blessed is He, accepts the repentance of those who return to Him wholeheartedly, nevertheless, these days are unexcelled and most suitable for repentance, because they are days of mercy and favor. On Rosh Chodesh Elul, Moshe went up Mount Sinai to receive the Second Tablets; he remained there for forty days, and came down on the tenth day of Tishrei when the atonement was completed. From then on these days have been designated as days of Divine favor [and acceptance,] and the tenth day of Tishrei as Yom Kippur [Day of Atonement]. In most communities it is the custom to fast on the day before Rosh Chodesh Elul and to recite the prayers of Yom Kippur Katan [minor Yom Kippur], in order to be spiritually prepared for repentance. If Rosh Chodesh occurs on Shabbos, Yom Kippur Katan is held on the preceding Thursday. The Ari (Rabbi Yitzchak Luria), of blessed memory, wrote, "If he did not lie in ambush but Hashem made it happen, then I will provide …" (Exodus 21:13) The initials of the words [ina le'yado vesamti lecha] form the acronym Elul, to indicate that this month is a favorable time for repentance to be accepted for the sins committed during the entire year. It also alludes to the fact that sins done inadvertently also require repentance1The Scriptural verse referred to in the text deals with a homicide that was commited accidentally or inadvertently. during this month. The interpreters of allusions also commented: It is written (Deuteronomy 30:6) "And Hashem your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your children;" the initials of the words [es levavecho ve'es levav] form the acronym Elul. Also, the initials of Ani ledodi vedodi li, ["I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine,"]2During these forty days, since repentance is more readily accepted, our repentance brings our hearts closer to our Beloved One and thus He, (our Beloved) is closer to us by accepting our repentance. (Mishnah Berurah preface to Chapter 581) [Song of Songs 6:3] form the acronym Elul. Also, the initials of Ish lerei'eihu umatanos la'evyonim ["One to another and gifts to the poor"] (Esther 9:22) form the acronym Elul. These acronyms are an allusion to three things: Repentance, Prayer and Charity which must be practiced zealously during this month. "Hashem will circumcise etc." alludes to repentance, "I am my Beloved's etc." alludes to prayer, for prayer is the song of love. "One to another and gifts to the poor," alludes to charity.
It is customary to blow the shofar during this month. Beginning the second day of Rosh Chodesh,3Some have the custom to blow shofar even on the first day of Rosh Chodesh Elul. we blow the shofar each day after the Shacharis prayer, tekiah, shevarim, teruah, tekiah, except on erev Rosh Hashanah, when the blowing is discontinued,4It is permitted, however, to blow shofar in order to practice in preparation for the obligatory sounding of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah. (Ibid 581:24) in order to make a distinction between the voluntary blowing of the shofar and the blowing shofar in fulfillment of the mitzvah. The reason for blowing the shofar during this month is to arouse the people to repent; for the shofar sound has the quality to stir [the emotions] and to inspire fear, as Scripture says, (Amos 3:6) "If a shofar is sounded in a city will the people not tremble?" It is also the custom in our regions, beginning with the second day of Rosh Chodesh Elul until Shemini Atzeres,5Including the day of Shemini Atzeres. (Ibid 581:2) to recite Psalm [27] LeDovid Hashem ori ve'yish'i6On those days when the Musaf service is said, the psalm is recited after Shacharis, before Ein Komocha [there is none like You] which is said before the Seifer Torah is taken out of the Ark. In the evening the psalm is recited after the Minchah service. [This is the custom of those who pray Nusach Sfard.] In those places where they recite the psalm after the entire service [including Musaf] is completed, such as on Rosh Chodesh, the psalm, Borchi Nafshi [Psalm 104] is recited before LeDovid Hashem Ori. They also have the custom to recite LeDovid Hashem Ori after the psalm of the day is recited. [This is the custom of those who pray Nusach Ashkenaz.] (Ibid 581:2) ["Of David, Hashem is my light and my salvation"] [each day] [after] the morning and evening prayers,7Kaddish should be said after the psalm is recited. (Ibid) This is based on the Midrash: "Hashem is my light" —on Rosh Hashanah; "and my salvation" —on Yom Kippur; "for He will hide me in His shelter" —alludes to Sukkos. It also is customary for the congregation to recite Psalms,8Mishnah Berurah says that we should omit the words: בָּהֶם שִׁבְעִים שָׁנָה [until we have lived our seventy years] in the prayer recited before saying tehillim [Psalms]; and since we [usually] do not recite an entire book of the Psalms, we should say: בִּזְכוּת מִזְמוֹרֵי תְּהִלִים שֶׁקָרָאנוּ לְפָנֶיךָ [In the merit of the chapters of tehillim we have recited], when we say the prayer that is said following the saying of tehillim. After this prayer Kaddish should be recited if there is a minyan [a quorum of ten males] present. (Ibid 581:3) each locality according to its custom.9The custom is to recite ten chapters each day, and during the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, extra chapters are recited so that the entire Book of Psalms will have been said three times. (Ibid) Beginning with the month of Elul until Yom Kippur, when you write a letter to your friend you should mention, either at the beginning or at the end that you pray for him and bless him to be worthy during the forthcoming Days of Judgment to be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Good Life.
pg. 186-187
Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for who you were last week, last month, or last year. Forgive yourself for when you were exhausted and snapped at the people you love. Forgive yourself for not being able to do it all. Forgive yourself for your fears. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Forgive yourself for eating on cookie too many. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. We often look at forgiveness as an intellectual act, but forgiveness is very spiritual. It is one of the most spiritual things we can do. When we forgive, we acknowledge that we are far bigger and greater than one individual moment. When we forgive, we are saying to the universe: I will not imprison myself or anyone else with anger, shame, judgment or resentment. Gift yourself this freedom.
pg. 28
…Listen to the gandeur of time, listen to the stateliness of time…
But each of these composers is saying, Pay attention to the quality of time. The Kairos-ness of time. And in a way I think of the phrase keep time. You can think of keeping time in the normal sense as keeping to the meter of music, but music in a way, is saying keep time in another way – keep it, keep in touch with it, keep your hands on it somehow. Keep in touch with the sadness of your own time, with the joy of time, with the marvelousness of time, with the terror of time, with the emptiness of time, with the fullness of time.
It is also saying, Listen to the sounds, listen to the music of your own life. Listen to the voices of the people you live with, listen to the songs that they sing. I don’t mean the song they sing – tra-la-la — but I mean listen to the music of their voices. Listen to the slamming of the screen door. Listen to the patter of feet walking back up the path. Listen to the turning of a tap in the tub, because that is a very profound and touching way the music of your life. It is the song out of time that sings to you. Keep in touch with time, not just a rush and tumble.