Ketubah Sources

(1) When a man marries a woman, he is obligated to her in ten things, and he merits [is owed] from her in four things, even if it is not written.

(2) These are the ten: her food, her clothing, her regular sexual relations, the core of her Ketubah, her healing, to redeem her if she is captured, her burial, that she be sustained from his possessions and live in his house after his death the whole time she is a widow, that her children be sustained after his death until they are engaged, that her sons from him inherit her ketubah more than their portion of inheritance that is with their siblings.

(3) These are the four: the work of her hands, what she finds, her fruits, and her inheritance.

(4) The work of her hands corresponds to her sustenance. Therefore, if she says "I will not be sustained, and I will not produce" we listen to her. Rema: See further in Section 80. There are those that say that every woman who says "I will not be sustained, and I will not produce", the enactment is nullified, and she can't rescind and say "I will be sustained, and I will produce." (Bet Yosef in the name of the Ran who writes in the name of the Ra'ah) and there are those who disagree (Rabenu Yerucham chapter 23, halacha 5). And all who are not sustained are not obligated to be clothed, which is in the category of sustenance (there in the Ran). But the husband who says "I will not sustain her, and I will not take the work of her hands" - we don't listen to. But, he can say put out [sell] the work of your hands for your food, and what isn't covered I will pay (Ran Ketubot Chapter 7)

(5) If she says, "I will not give you fruits, and I don't want you to redeem me if I'm taken captive" we don't listen to her, so that she shouldn't be mixed in with the Kutim [non-Jews]. Rema: and also with inheritance and burial, neither can say I will not be bury and I will not inherit, in any case [the obligation remains] to bury and inherit.

(6) If the husband makes a condition that he will not be obligated in one of the things that he is obligated in, or the wife makes a condition that he will not acquire one of the things that he acquires, the condition stands. Except for three things where conditions are not effective: her regular sexual relations, the core of her Ketubah, and her inheritance.

(7) That which is said, that conditions are not effective to remove her inheritance - this is when he makes the condition after the marriage or before the engagement, but when he makes the condition with her while they are engaged, it is effective. Rema: Look farther on in section 92. Our Rabbis of blessed memory said: "There is no fitting woman except one who does the will of her husband." (Hagot Maimoni chapter 15 in the name of Tanna d'bei Eliyahu)

(1) With money, how is the woman betrothed?, he gives her, in front of 2 witnesses a 'Pruta' or something worth 'the value of a pruta' and says, "Harei At Mekudeshet Li BaZeh" (With this, you are betrothed to me). [Rama: and there are those who say that he should add to this "according to the daat (religion) of Moses and Israel," and it is customary, a-priori, to betroth her with a ring, and there is a reason for this from the Tikunei Zohar (that the ring needs to be round with no breaks, like the letter "Samach" ed.)] And this is the same law if he said to her, "Harei you are... 'engaged to me,' or 'you are to me for a wife,'..." and the same for any language that have the essence of certain language of betrothal in that region and ONLY if she clearly understands that this is language of betrothal and if he spoke of marriage with her beforehand about the business of marriage and he gave her the gift (Pruta or Sheva-Pruta), then even in silence (and in front of two witnesses), she is betrothed. And if he is he is still involved in the same subject (of marriage), and of course, if he uses a certain language of betrothal, rather she does not (completely) understand his exact words, they are still betrothed. [Rama: Some say that the subject about which they are speaking is not necessarily marriage itself, rather they are speaking of subjects related to the subject of marriage and not about betrothal directly, rather they are speaking about the needs of the couple's relationship. And other say that it is not this subject about which they he is speaking with her, rather all the discussion before (he gives her the pruta) that apply in this matter.]

(2) If he says to her "Harei... you are my wife (ishti)," "you are my one and only (zakukati)," "you are my property," "you are my betrothed," "you are mine," "you are in my domain," or "Harei, you are my acquisition." (in all these cases) she is betrothed. [Rama: If she understands his meaning or beforehand, they were speaking about marriage details, but the man is not believed (without her consent) because these are not certain languages of betrothal.]

(3) If he says to her, "You are hereby unique to me," "designated to me," "my helpmate", "my counterpart", "my rib", "my closed one," "my treasure chest," "my duplication (soulmate)." (in these cases) she is doubtfully betrothed [Rama: Thus is the law, even if he says "You are hereby my espoused one [harufati]" But, if he says to her, "You are hereby my married one [nessuati]," there are those who say that this is nothing (not even a doubtful betrothal)] as long he were to speak with her beforehand about dealings of engagement or marriage. However, if he did not speak with her about marriage dealings beforehand, we are not concerned about any of these phrases having an effect of marriage. [Rama: Someone who says to a woman "I give you this with love and affection," we are concerned that they may be betrothed since perhaps he said that he gives her this (gift) that it should be for 'love and affection' between them and it would be as if he used the language "you are specially chosen (Meuedet) for me" or "the only one for me." There are those who say that these utterances do not count if he does not speak with her about marital matters before hand. In any case, if she says that she accepted the gift in the name of betrothal, this is also a doubtful betrothal and even if he gave it to her in silence and said nothing and she and he both testify that their intention was to be engaged to each other, then they are betrothed; and in a place where they do not consider this as betrothal, even if he retracts afterwards (what he said or did) and said to her (the proper language of) "Harei At Mekudeshet Li," (Harei, you are betrothed to me), and he would need to take back the money (or gift) from her and give it again in the name of betrothal.]

(4) If he says to her "Harei, you are betrothed" but does not say "Li" (to me), she is not betrothed [Rama: and this is the law, but there are strict poskim who would say that this is a kosher betrothal] and if he was speaking with her about the business of marriage, then she is betrothed. If he betrothed one woman first with a complete betrothal and said to another woman in front of her that she should be betrothed, but did not say "to me," then it is her hands that are proof and we are concerned that she is betrothed.

(5) Some (poskim) would say that if at the time he gives her the money (or gift with the value of a pruta) he says to her, "I give this to you for the sake of betrothal," it is as if he said (the words) "to me." [Rama: and he would need to say this to her in a language that would prove his intention, for example, he would say "Thus they (or, we) are betrothed," or "Thus, they (we) shall be betrothed." However, if he says only "they are betrothed," this is nothing.

(6) He says to her, "Hareini, I am your man (Ishecha)," "Hareini, I am your husband (Ba'alech)," or "Your betrothed;" these are nothing, even they were speaking initially about the business of betrothal since it is written, "Since (Ki) He will take..." and not "That (She'Yikach) he will take (through his declaration) for himself." [Rama: Similarly, if he gives the money to a man (her father) and says to him, "Harei, you are my father in-law," and did not say, "your daughter is betrothed to me," here there is also nothing.

(7) If she gives money to him and she says, "Hareini, I am betrothed to you," she is not betrothed.

(8) He gave her the money and she made the declaration (of betrothal); if he was already speaking about the business of betrothal beforehand, this is certainly a betrothal (since she declared her intent with words while he made it clear with his action), but if not (he did not speak about betrothal beforehand), this is a questionable betrothal (Saffek). However, if after her declaration, he answers "Yes," at the moment of his giving (and her declaration) then this is a certain betrothal, even if they were not discussing the business of betrothal beforehand.

(9) If she gives a Dinar (a significantly valued coin, much more than a pruta) and she says to him, "This Dinar is for you a present by which I will be betrothed to you," and he accepts it; and he says back to her, "Harei, you are betrothed to me with the pleasure you received from my accepting this gift from you," if he is an important man, they are betrothed since the enjoyment she received (is worth more than a sheva pruta) is directly from him, and with this pleasure, she is accepting it like money from him; however, this transaction needs to be studied by a Chacham as to his status (as an 'important man') if he were not important, (their betrothal would be invalid, and) they would not need a Get (for her to be free). [Rama: And there are strict opinions whereby even if she did not initially say, "that I gave you and I will be betrothed to you," only that she gave him this gift stam (without words) and he declared "You are betrothed to me etc." then they are betrothed.

(10) The minimum amount of money that can be used for a valid betrothal is the weight of half a barely's worth of pure silver (at the current exchange rate).

(1) How is a woman sanctified (for engagement)? If one choses to do so with money (or its equivalent), it can not have less than the value of a "Peruta". He says to her, "Behold, you are sanctified to me", "Behold, you are engaged to me", "Behold, with this, you are to be my wife", and he gives her the object in front of witnesses. The man must be the one to say words that have the meaning of an acquisition, and it must be he that is giving her the money.

(2) If she gives the money and says, "I am sanctified to you", "I am engaged to you", "I am a wife to you" or any other acquisition term, she is not sanctified. So too if she gives the money and he speaks, she is not sanctified. If he gives and she speaks, this is a questionable sanctification.