Divorce

Lifecycle

Though the Torah gives few procedural details, under certain circumstances, it does allow for divorce. The laws of divorce are developed in detail throughout the rabbinic period and in later halakhic literature. To this day, rabbis and Jewish leaders continue to grapple with the intricacies and consequences of these laws. And in that marriage is an oft-used metaphor for the relationship between God and the Jewish people, so too does divorce appear as an oft-rejected possibility.

Notable Sources

All Sources

Writing Off a Marriage

TANAKH

The Torah allows for divorce in cases where a marriage is not working. The permission and procedure for a divorce are laid out in the book of Deuteronomy.

A man takes a woman [into his household as his wife] and becomes her husband. She fails to please him because he finds something obnoxious about her, and he writes her a bill of divorcement, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house;

Deuteronomy 24:1

Reasons for Divorce

MISHNAH

The rabbis often derive laws from a close reading of verses in the Torah. The Mishnah in tractate Gittin features a debate between sages about what justification is required for getting a divorce — highlighting relevant phrases from the verse in the book of Deuteronomy.

Beit Shammai say: A man may not divorce his wife unless he finds out about her having engaged in a matter of forbidden sexual intercourse [devar erva], i.e., she committed adultery or is suspected of doing so, as it is stated: “Because he has found some unseemly matter [ervat davar] in her, and he writes her a scroll of severance” (Deuteronomy 24:1). And Beit Hillel say: He may divorce her even due to a minor issue, e.g., because she burned or over-salted his dish…

Mishnah Gittin 9:10

The Tears of the Altar

TALMUD

Although divorce is legally permitted, the rabbis recognize it as lamentable. The Babylonian Talmud in tractate Gittin explores the theological and spiritual impact of divorce.

As Rabbi Elazar says: With regard to anyone who divorces his first wife, even the altar sheds tears over him, as it is stated: “And this further you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with sighing, insomuch that He does not regard the offering anymore, nor does He receive it with goodwill from your hand. Yet you say: What for? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion, and the wife of your covenant” (Malachi 2:13–14)…

Gittin 90b:7

To Get Divorced

HALAKHAH

The Torah does not provide significant details about divorce procedure. Rambam, in the Mishneh Torah, his famed 12th-century code of Jewish law, explains the elements of the divorce procedure that are fundamental to Torah law.

A woman may be divorced only by receiving a bill [of divorce]. This bill is called a get.
The Torah establishes ten principles as fundamental [for a divorce to be effective]. They are:
a) That a man must voluntarily initiate the divorce;
b) That he must effect the divorce by means of a written document and through no other means;
c) That this document must communicate that he is divorcing [his wife] and releasing her from his domain;
d) That it should utterly sever the connection between the husband and his wife…

Mishneh Torah, Divorce 1:1

Rabbenu Gershom’s Edict

HALAKHAH

Rabbenu Gershom, an 11th-century German rabbi, is known for several edicts he instituted in Ashkenazi communities. One of these edicts — regarding divorce — is explained by Rabbi Moses Isserles in his glosses to the Shulchan Arukh, the authoritative 16th-century legal code.

He is allowed to divorce her without her knowledge. Rem"a: And even if he cannot pay her ketubah or dowry, she cannot prevent it since this is a divorce. Rather she divorces and claims what he is obligated to her (Teshuvat HaRosh, and Rivash). And all this is the law, but Rabbeinu Gershom decreed that [a man] cannot divorce a woman without her knowledge if she has not violated religion as is explained (Siman 115). And even if he wants to give her the ketubah, he cannot divorce her nowadays without her knowledge (Smak Siman 184)…

Shulchan Arukh, Even HaEzer 119:6

Required Divorce

MISHNAH

Certain scenarios require divorce. The Mishnah in tractate Ketubot discusses cases in which a man's treatment of his wife — or her own behavior — require the couple's separation.

With regard to one who vows and obligates his wife not to go to her father’s house, when her father is with her in the same city, if the vow is to be in effect up to one month, he may maintain her as his wife. If the vow is for two months, he must divorce her and give her the payment of her marriage contract. And when her father is in a different city, if the vow is to be in effect until at most one pilgrim Festival, i.e., until the next pilgrim Festival, he may maintain her as his wife…

Mishnah Ketubot 7:4-6

Forcing a Divorce

HALAKHAH

Generally in Jewish law, a document or transaction is not considered legally valid if one party is forced into the agreement. Rambam, in his famed 12th-century code of Jewish law, Mishneh Torah, discusses a case in which a man can be forced to divorce his wife and the reasons for this exception.

When a man whom the law requires to be compelled to divorce his wife does not desire to divorce her, the court should have him beaten until he consents, at which time they should have a get written. The get is acceptable. This applies at all times and in all places.
Similarly, if gentiles beat him while telling him: "Do what the Jews are telling you to do," and the Jews have the gentiles apply pressure on him until [he consents] to divorce his wife, the divorce is acceptable. If, however, the gentiles compel him to write [a get] on their own initiative…

Mishneh Torah, Divorce 2:20

Refusing a Divorce

JEWISH THOUGHT

Men who refuse to give their wives a bill of divorce remains a significant problem in contemporary Jewish life. Rivkah Lubitz, a writer, activist, and advocate in rabbinic courts, plays on a well-known talmudic narrative to highlight the plight of women in this situation.

On that day, one of those refused a get [bill of divorce] answered them with all of the answers in the world, but they would not accept them from her.
She said to the sages, "Give me my get, and I will leave."
They said to her, "The man affects the divorce, and a man must affect the divorce willingly."
She said to them, "Force him [to give the] get. As behold, "We strike him until he says, 'I agree.'"
They said to her, "We are unable to force him, lest it be a get under coercion, and you would come out to be a married woman becoming available…

Dirshuni I, Righteousness and Justice, II 2-6

God and Israel's Divorce

KABBALAH

God's relationship with Israel is often compared to a marriage in biblical literature. Elazar Rokeach, in his kabbalistic commentary on the Mishnah, Ma'aseh Rokeach, reinterprets a mishnah about a particular divorce scenario as an esoteric metaphor for the relationship between God and Israel.

And this is the secret of the Mishnah, "[If] one married a woman in Cappadocia" — meaning the Holy One, blessed be He, who married the Jewish people, and the marriage was in the tabernacle, which is Cappadocia — "and divorced her in the land of Israel." Even though it was not a complete divorce between the Holy One, blessed be He, and the Jewish people, it was nevertheless similar to a divorce, as we will write below, with the assistance of God, in Tractate Gittin.

Maaseh Rokeach on Mishnah, Seder Nashim, Ketubot 31

God and Adam's Divorce

CHASIDUT

The phrase "he sends her away" is used to describe the act of divorce in the book of Deuteronomy, rather than “he expels her,” as a modern Hebrew speaker might expect. Rabbi Shmuel Bornszstain, in his Chasidic work Shem MiShmuel, uses this linguistic insight to explore the relationship between Adam and God after Adam sinned in the garden of Eden, a context in which the same verb — to expel — appears.

Now that the man has become like one of us, etc., what if he should stretch out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever? So the Lord God banished him from the garden of Eden, to till the soil from which he was taken. And He drove the man out, etc.: And one should be precise — as once it wrote, "and He banished [veyishalach]," then it went back and wrote, "and He drove out [veyigaresh]," which is the same thing! And in Tanna deBei Eliyahu: And He drove the man out teaches that He divorced the man, and that the Holy One…

Shem MiShmuel, Bereshit 4:12

Miriam’s Argument for Marriage

MIDRASH

Divorce may — at times — seem necessary due to external circumstances. Midrash Aggadah, an anonymous medieval collection of midrash, questions the utility of this tactic.

A man of the house of Levi went, etc. And where did he go? This teaches that he went after his daughter's advice. For Amram was the leader of the generation. When he saw the evil Pharaoh's decree, he said, "We are toiling for naught." He arose and divorced his wife. So they all arose and divorced their wives. His daughter said to him, "Father, your decree is harsher than the evil Pharaoh’s, as Pharaoh decreed only against the males, and you decreed against the males and the females. Pharaoh only decreed in this world, but you [decreed] in this world and in the next…

Midrash Aggadah, Exodus 2:1:1

Guaranteeing Payment to Avoid Argument

TALMUD

In cases of divorce, the man is required to pay a sum of money agreed upon at the time of marriage. The Babylonian Talmud, in tractate Ketubot, describes changes to how this sum was safeguarded throughout the marriage in case of divorce and the implications of these changes on couples' relationships.

The Gemara comments: That opinion is also taught in a baraita: At first they would write for a virgin two hundred and for a widow one hundred dinars, and they would grow old and would not marry women, since the women were concerned that their marriage contract money would be wasted or lost, and they had no guarantee that it would be collected. The Sages therefore instituted an ordinance that they should place it, the sum of the marriage contract, in her father’s house, thereby ensuring its safekeeping…

Ketubot 82b:11-13

Divorce Fees

HALAKHAH

Who is responsible for the fees involved in a divorce? Sefer HaTerumah, a medieval halakhic guide by the French tosafist Barukh ben Isaac of Worms, discusses this question.

When one writes a get [bill of divorce], the parchment and the ink must belong to the husband. And truly the wage of the scribe is also on him; however, if the wife gives the wage, there is no [problem] with it. But there is no concern [about who pays for] the quill. One who writes a get must first cut the parchment before he writes it. And if he erred in the middle, he must first cut out what he wrote, and then go back and begin to write. But if he cut from the parchment at the end, it is disqualified. So is it found in the Halakhot Gedolot [BeHaG]…

Sefer HaTerumah, Simanim 110:1-118:1

When She Wants Out

RESPONSA

According to Jewish law, only the husband —and not the wife — has the power to grant a divorce, but what happens if the wife wants a divorce and the husband does not? Rabbi Shlomo ibn Aderet, better known as Rashba, a medieval Spanish talmudist and halakhist, discusses the intricacies of such a case.

In response: The claims that a woman may make to get divorced from her husband are many, and the law is not the same in all of them, but rather each one has its own laws. You also did not clarify in your letter which claim Leah is making to get divorced. And if we were to come to write to you all of the things through which a woman comes to get divorced from her husband and to write the laws of each one, the matter would be very, very long, and we would need to write a book about them. As there are ten or eleven ways, or more, and we do not know with which one of them this Leah was coming…

Teshuvot haRashba part VI 72:2

Not Divorced From a Historical Context

COMMENTARY

Although the power to divorce remains in the hands of men, the legal intricacies involved in a bill of divorce are intended to protect women. Rabbi Dr. Judith Hauptman, a contemporary Talmud scholar, offers a reading of tractate Gittin of the Mishnah that takes into account the social and historical circumstances that shaped divorce law in rabbinic antiquity.

IT IS VERY TEMPTING TO DISMISS Mishnah Gittin as the volume that places men squarely in control of women’s marital availability—in that only men may dissolve a marriage—and therefore responsible, to this very day, for women’s suffering serious disabilities under Jewish divorce law. However, if we look at the tractate as a whole and ask ourselves what it is trying to accomplish, we will discover that the answer is more complicated. For the goal of this tractate, as we will see, is to ensure that the get, the instrument of divorce, is above reproach…

Rereading the Rabbis; A Woman's Voice, 5 Divorce 1

The Divorcée and the Priest

TANAKH

Priests are held to a higher standard of ritual purity in the Torah and rabbinic literature because they come into closer contact with the sacred in the Temple. The book of Leviticus identifies a number of woman whom a priest may not marry, including a divorcée.

They shall not take [into their household as their wife] a woman defiled by harlotry, nor shall they take one divorced from her husband. For they are holy to their God

Leviticus 21:7

The Priest’s Divorce

COMMENTARY

Because a priest is not allowed to marry a divorcée, the rabbis instituted a special, lengthy process for a priest to get divorced, to avoid situations in which he gets divorced, regrets it, and then would not be able to remarry his ex-wife. Ovadiah of Bartenura’s popular, accessible 15th-century commentary on the Mishnah explains the procedure.

מקושר מאחוריו – he (i.e., the scribe) writes one line or two and wraps them on the blank part and sews it. And one witnesses inscribes on the wrapping from the outside, and he (i.e., the scribe) goes back and writes two lines from the inside and wraps them on the blank part and the second witnesses inscribes on the wrapping from the outside. And similarly, the third witness. But the Rabbis established a folded document because of stringent Kohanim, because they would write a bill-of-divorcement suddenly to their wives and then regret it and they wouldn’t be able to restore them (i.e…

Bartenura on Mishnah Bava Batra 10:1:3

No Spouse Cycling

HALAKHAH

According to the book of Deuteronomy, a man may not re-marry his ex-wife if she has been married to another man. Sefer HaChinukh, an anonymous 13th-century Spanish explanation of the commandments, discusses the reasons for this law.

That he not bring back his ex-wife from when she has married: That we have been prevented from bringing back a woman after we have divorced her and she has married another. And [that is] specifically when she married or became engaged (with formal erusin); but if she was promiscuous after he divorced her, it is permissible to bring her back. And about this is it stated (Deuteronomy 24:4), “The first husband who divorced her may not take her to wife again.” And this is speaking about after she married another — as it stated first, “and becomes the wife of another man…

Sefer HaChinukh 580:1-4

The Get (divorce), circa 1930, Moshe Rynecki (1881-1943).

Relatedראו גם

Sheetsדפי מקורות

Related Sheets