Shulchan Arukh, Yoreh De'ah 342

מי שהכין צרכי חופתו ומת לו מת שחייב עליו אבילות. ובו סעיף אחד:
מי שהכין כל צרכי חופתו שאפה פתו וטבח טבחו ומזג יינו ומת אביו של חתן והוא במקום שאינו מצוי למכור ואם תדחה החופה יפסיד מה שהכין או שמתה אמה של כלה ואיכא תמרוקי נשים וקישוטין שאינן מתקיימים (מאחר שאין להם מי שיטריח בעבורם בפעם אחרת) (כך משמע בגמרא) מכניסין את המת לחדר ואת החתן ואת הכלה לחופה ובועל בעילת מצוה ופורש וכיון שחלה עליו החופה הויא לדידיה כרגל ונוהג שבעת ימי המשתה ואח"כ נוהג שבעת ימי אבילות וכל שבעת ימי המשתה נוהג בהם דברים שבצינעא ואסור בתשמיש המטה הלכך כל ז' ימי המשתה וז' ימי האבל הוא ישן בין האנשים והיא ישנה בין הנשים: הגה יש אומרים שאסורה ליחד עמו ביום כמו בלילה ואין צריך להיות להם שתי שמירות רק הוא בין האנשים או היא בין הנשים (טור בשם הרא"ש) ואם אינן ישנים בחדר אחד אין צריכין שימור כלל (כ"כ הרשב"א בכלה שפירסה וכו') וי"א דבלילה צריך שתי שמירות וביום מותר להתייחד עמה (טור בשם הראב"ד) והמנהג ליקח קטן אצל החתן וקטנה אצל הכלה ואין מתייחדין בלא קטן או קטנה : ולענין שלשים אינו מונה אלא מז' ימי אבילות ואילך וכל ז' ימי החופה מותר בגיהוץ ותספורת ואם אין לו פסידא כגון במקום שמצוי למכור מה שהכין או אפילו אית ליה פסידא ומתה אמו של חתן או אביה של כלה או אחד משאר קרוביהם שנשאר מי שיכין להם לפעם אחרת לא התירו לדחות האבילות אלא קובר אותו מיד ונוהג שבעת ימי אבילות ואחר כך מכניסין את החתן ואת הכלה לחופה מיד ונוהג שבעת ימי המשתה: LAWS OF MOURNING
One who made all the preparations for his wedding,¹BaḤ states that this obtains only if all the wedding preparations were made. Otherwise, the wedding should be postponed. ShaK rejects this on the ground that a loss will still be incurred even if only part of the preparations were completed. [viz.,] he baked his bread and prepared his meat and mixed his wine,²Their wine was too strong to be taken undiluted. and the father of the bridegroom³Who made the preparations for the wedding-feast. died, and he was in a locality where it is unlikely to sell [the food], and should the wedding be postponed he will lose whatever he prepared; or the mother⁴It was she who prepared the bride’s trousseau. of the bride died,⁵Ket. 3b-4a. Even if the groom’s mother died or other near-of-kin, in which case there is still his father available to make all the preparations at a future date, nevertheless, since the bride has no one available to make her preparations in addition to the loss involved at present, the wedding is not postponed, and they are brought into the bridal chamber as stated anon. Nowadays if a parent dies the wedding is postponed until after the seven days of mourning — Ba’er Heteb, Ḥatam Sofer. On the eve of Passover after midday it is permissible for a groom or bride who are in mourning to be married, since with the advent of the Passover Festival and the period of counting the Omer that follows it is forbidden to hold marriages. This is in accord with Isserles’ ruling (v. infra § 399) that after midday on the eve of a Festival mourning rites have no legal effect, contra ShaK (ibid.). This applies to a groom who was never married before and did not yet comply with the duty of propagation — Zekor le-Abraham, Net’a Sorek. If they suffered a loss after the marriage was already performed, the groom must not perform the marital act until after the seven days of mourning, after which, follow the seven days of the wedding-feast (v. infra § 383). One who was in a dying condition and instructed his daughter’s marriage to take place and he died after the dutiful marital act had already been performed, the law is that the daughter is not permitted to attend the funeral, since it is already regarded as a Festival period for her, and were she to attend the funeral, it would be considered tantamount to observing mourning rites publicly on a Festival which is forbidden — P.Tesh. and there are womens' perfumes and toilet [prepared] which are not durable,⁶RaN ibid. Cf. Rashi ibid. s.v. ואביו של חתן. — [the law is that] since there is no one [available] who will prepare for them a second time⁷Derived from Gemara ibid. — G., they bring the corpse into a room and the bridegroom and the bride into a bridal chamber, and he performs the dutiful marital act and [then] separates [himself from her and they bury the corpse forthwith].⁸Gemara ibid. This applies even if he married a woman who was married before. If the death occurred after the bride’s head was covered, the seven days of the wedding-feast take effect. Thus Derisha, but is rejected by TaZ. However, since the marital precept rests upon him, it is regarded as a Festival day for him, and he observes [first] the seven days of the [wedding-] feast,⁹The law is that on the first day mourning rites are Rabbinical (v. infra § 399, 13). Hence, he is permitted to observe first the seven days of the wedding-feast, for were the first day of mourning Biblical, ‘matters pertaining to joy’ would be forbidden — ShaK. Cf. G.Mah. and R. A. Eeger a.l. It may be asked, however, how is it possible for the seven days of the wedding-feast to override a case of Biblical mourning, for the day of death and burial is considered Biblical (it is only when the burial is not held on the same day as death that the first day of mourning is Rabbinical)? This difficulty may be removed because the first day of a groom’s marriage is considered Biblical, for it is written, ‘In the day of his espousals and in the day of the gladness of his heart’ (Song of Songs III, 11) — Asheri. Although an Onen is forbidden the use of the conjugal couch (v. supra § 341), the Rabbis were lenient in this case and put it on an equal footing with one who had given up hope of burying his dead in which case he is permitted to eat meat and drink wine and use the conjugal couch — RITBA. and after this he observes the seven days of mourning.¹⁰As to the question of rending garments, there is a difference of opinion among the authorities. MaHaRIL (Laws of Mourning) states that the garments are rent after the seven days of the wedding-feast. She’elath Yabeẓ maintains that garments should be rent forthwith since it is not a Biblical Festival. Sede Ḥemed accepts MaHaRIL’s ruling. Mishmereth Shalom agrees with Yabeẓ. And the entire seven days of the [wedding-] feast he observes matters pertaining to private [mourning], and he is forbidden to use the conjugal couch.¹¹Yad, Ebel XI, 8. Tur on the authority of RaBaD writes that he is only forbidden to use the conjugal couch or to be alone with her, but the mixing of the cup, the making of the bed and the washing of his face, hands and feet are permitted to be done in each other’s presence. ShaK rejects this on the basis of numerous sources in the Talmud and Codes and extends the prohibition to embracing and kissing as well. Therefore, the entire seven days of the [wedding-] feast and the seven days of mourning, he sleeps among the men and she sleeps among the women.¹²Ket. ibid. According to our ruling today (v. supra c. 193 end) that after the dutiful marital act she is considered a Niddah, no guarding should be necessary. Yet, since it was a requirement in Talmudic days we should advocate more stringency — TaZ. Nek. Hak. opposes TaZ, but latter is defended by Imre Baruk. Gloss: Some say that she is forbidden to be alone with him during the day as during the night, and they do not require two [separate] guardings; but [it suffices] that he is among the men or she among the women.¹³Tur on the authority of Asheri — G. And if they do not sleep in one room they require no guarding at all.¹⁴RaShBA on the question of a bride who became menstrous— G. And some say that during the night two guardings are required, and during the day he is allowed to be alone with her.¹⁵Tur on the authority of RaBaD — G. The accepted custom is to take a minor boy [to be] with the bridegroom and a minor girl [to be] with the bride, and they do not remain alone without a minor boy or a minor girl.¹⁶ E.H. § 22. With respect to the thirty days [of mourning], — [the law is that] he counts only from the seven days of mourning and on.¹⁷Tur on the authority of T.H. and Yad ibid. Although a Festival enters into the counting of the days of mourning, here it is different, since he is permitted hair-cutting. next note. The entire seven days of the [wedding-] feast he is permitted fine laundry work and hair-cutting.¹⁸For it is written, ‘Thine eyes shall see the king in his beauty’ (Is. XXXIII, 17). P.R.E. c. 16 end. And if he suffers no loss, e.g., in a locality where it is likely to sell whatever he prepared,¹⁹Or to put the foodstuff away in cold storage so that it does not perish. or even if he suffers a loss, but the mother of the bridegroom died or the father of the bride or one of their near-of-kin, [so] that someone remains to prepare for them on another occassion, — [the law is that] they did not allow him [under such conditions] to postpone the mourning rites, but he buries him [the dead] forth-with,²⁰Ket. 4a. and observes seven days of mourning after which the bridegroom and the bride are brought immediately into a bridal chamber and he observes the seven days of the [wedding-] feast.²¹Yad ibid. Thus also Tur citing Asheri. supra n. 5. 343