Many women appreciate their husbands' presence during childbirth, and many couples jointly learn techniques such as Lamaze breathing and the Bradley method. From a halachic perspective, the husband's involvement depends upon when the expectant mother become a nidah, at which time she may have no physical contact with her husband.
Breaking of the Water
Rav Feivel Cohen (Badei Hashulchan 194:30) writes that when a woman's water breaks, she becomes a nidah.1If there is a great need for her husband to assist his wife at this time, Rav Cohen rules that one may rely on the opinions that she is not yet a nidah. Rav Cohen does not cite a textual source for this ruling, but he writes (Tziyunim 48) that "this is the accepted protocol among halachic authorities."
In reality, not all authorities agree with his assertion. Dr. Avraham S. Avraham (Nishmat Avraham, Yoreh De'ah 194:1) cites Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach and Rav Yehoshua Neuwirth, who both rule that after her water breaks, a woman may perform a bedikah (internal examination). If she finds no blood, she is not a nidah. Rav Mordechai Willig stated (in a lecture at Yeshiva University) that he believes the latter opinion to be more persuasive. He explained that the breaking of the water is not associated with a flow of blood, and no classical source definitively states that a woman is a nidah at this point. Rav Ovadia Yosef (Taharat Habayit 2:53-54) also rules leniently. Expectant parents should consult their rabbi concerning which opinion to follow.
Labor
Acharonim debate whether a woman automatically becomes a nidah during labor. The Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De'ah 194) does not state that once a woman is in labor, she acquires the status of a nidah. However, he does rule (194:1-2) that a yoledet (a woman who has given birth) has the status of a nidah even if she did not see any blood (a highly unlikely occurrence), based on the Gemara’s principle (according to the accepted view) that the uterus cannot open without the release of some blood (see Nidah 21a-b).
In his discussion of violating Shabbat to save lives, the Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 330:3, based on Shabbat 129a) permits violating Shabbat to assist a woman with childbirth. He rules that a woman is considered a yoledet (and has the status of a dangerously ill patient) "from the time when she sits on the birthing stool, or from the time that blood comes forth, or from the time that her friends have to support her arms and hold her up since she cannot walk."
The Acharonim debate if just as a woman is considered a dangerously ill person at the onset of labor, she is also considered a nidah at the onset of labor. The Badei Hashulchan (194, Biurim s.v. Mipnei) in his summary and analysis of the dispute, cites the Sidrei Taharah, who notes that the Gemara (ibid.) mentions the uterus opening when a woman is in labor. Applying the aforementioned rule that the uterus does not open without releasing at least some blood, the Sidrei Taharah claims that a woman in labor is considered a nidah even without actually seeing blood.
Other Acharonim, including the Noda Biy'hudah and Beit Meir (both cited by the Badei Hashulchan), disagree. They argue that the aforementioned rule only applies when something is released from the uterus. In such a situation, the Halachah assumes blood to be released along with the object that emanates from the uterus. If, however, the uterus does not release anything, its opening alone does not automatically render the woman a nidah.
Rav Moshe Feinstein (Teshuvot Igrot Moshe, Yoreh De'ah 2:75) rules that one should follow the Sidrei Taharah's strict opinion. Rav Feivel Cohen (Badei Hashulchan ibid.) rules that, if the woman needs her husband's help to alleviate her pain,2This is Rav Cohen's example. He mentions that this leniency is also applicable for other, similar needs. the lenient approach may be followed. He argues that no early authorities mention that a woman who is in labor is automatically a nidah. Nonetheless, as has already been mentioned, Rav Cohen believes that a man may not touch his wife once her water breaks, unless there is an unusually pressing need. Rav Ovadia Yosef (Taharat Habayit Hakatzar 2:6) rules that a woman in labor is not a nidah until she sees blood.
Physical Contact During Delivery
Of course, a woman is unquestionably a nidah once she sees blood. A student once suggested to Rav Aharon Lichtenstein (in a lecture to Yeshiva University rabbinical students) that the husband may nevertheless touch his wife during the delivery. The student reasoned that this is not an affectionate type of contact (negiah shelo bederech chibah), and some authorities permit non-affectionate contact. Rav Lichtenstein replied that such contact is affectionate (bederech chibah) and is forbidden once the wife becomes a nidah. Although contact between husband and wife in the delivery room is not sexual in nature, it is nonetheless of a loving nature and is hence prohibited. There is also another flaw in the student's argument. Some authorities do permit non-affectionate contact between men and women who are not related, but all authorities prohibit such contact between a married couple when the wife is a nidah.3Rav Moshe Feinstein (Teshuvot Igrot Moshe, Even Ha'ezer 2:14) permits traveling on a crowded subway even if one may brush against members of the opposite sex. Rav Elyakim (Getsel) Ellinson (Hatznei'a Lechet 2:57-59 and note 76) cites other authorities who also permit such contact, and he argues that this leniency may be followed in practice. Of course, he warns that every case must be judged independently to ensure that there are absolutely no affectionate overtones. Rav Ellinson notes that the Beit Shmuel (20:1) prohibits even non-affectionate contact, although Rav Ellinson challenges the Beit Shmuel's proof. Rav Ellinson emphasizes, however, that all of the lenient authorities nonetheless prohibit all contact between a nidah and her husband.
Another suggestion to permit a husband to touch his wife during childbirth is that she is considered a cholah (sick person). The Rama (Yoreh De'ah 195:16) allows a man to help his sick wife in a case of great need, if no one else can help her. Nevertheless, virtually all authorities reject applying the Rama's ruling to childbirth and prohibit the husband from touching his wife.4These authorities include Rav Moshe Feinstein (Teshuvot Igrot Moshe, Yoreh De'ah 2:65), Dayan Y.Y. Weisz (Teshuvot Minchat Yitzchak 5:27), Rav Chaim David Halevi (Aseih Lecha Rav 4:58), Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik (reported by Rav Yosef Adler), Rav Aharon Lichtenstein (in a lecture at Yeshiva University), and Rav Yehuda Henkin (Teshuvot Bnei Banim 1:33). They understand that other people can help the wife during childbirth. Doctors and nurses are readily available to assist the wife during the delivery, so physical contact between the couple is not necessary in the vast majority of cases. In the rare case that the husband must touch his wife during delivery, such as if she suddenly gives birth in the car, physical contact is certainly permissible according to the Rama.
The Husband's Presence in the Delivery Room
Most contemporary authorities permit a husband to be present in the delivery room, although they do so with varying degrees of enthusiasm (see Nishmat Avraham, Yoreh De'ah 195:3). Rav Moshe Feinstein (Teshuvot Igrot Moshe, Yoreh De'ah 2:75) states no objection the husband's presence in the delivery room per se. Nonetheless, Rav Feinstein rules that the husband must avoid physical contact with his wife and may not watch the baby emerge from the birth canal. Watching the delivery is prohibited because even a husband may not look at that part of his wife's body.
While most authorities agree that the husband may attend delivery when needed, many of them express some reservations. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (cited by Nishmat Avraham, Y.D. 195:3) and Rav Chaim David Halevi (Aseih Lecha Rav 4:58) discourage the husband's attendance, although they add that it is permitted when the wife is truly scared. Rav Yehuda Henkin (Bnei Banim 1:33) objects to granting blanket permission for every husband to attend delivery, enumerating the prohibitions that he may come to violate. Rav Henkin adds, however, that a husband must accompany his wife into the delivery room if she specifically requests his presence out of fear. Rav Henkin also suggests that the husband should not accompany his wife if there are other women in the same delivery room without their husbands. Rav Henkin explains that this husband's presence, while helping his wife, hurts the emotional state of the other women.
The Minchat Yitzchak (5:27) strongly objects to the husband's presence in the delivery room. He argues that a wife can manage without him, so her insistence on his presence is mere lightheartedness (kalut hada'at). Dr. Avraham Steinberg (The Journal of Halacha and Contemporary Society, 1:2:121, Fall 1981) challenges this assertion as being "in dispute with the scientifically proven evidence." Elsewhere (p. 108), Dr. Steinberg notes that scientific articles (such as The New England Journal of Medicine, 303:597-600) describe how companionship during delivery has many health benefits (although it does not necessarily have to be the husband's companionship).
The situation of a woman giving birth fundamentally differs from that of many ill people. As Rav Yehuda Henkin (Teshuvot Bnei Banim 1:33) notes, sick individuals often not need to be active in order to overcome their illness, whereas a woman in labor must remain calm while working intensely to deliver the baby. Therefore, meeting the mother's psychological needs is of great importance. If the couple has studied Lamaze breathing or the Bradley method together, the husband coaches his wife, so his presence is crucial. Furthermore, the husband can serve as an advocate for his wife's needs, if the medical staff does not pay proper attention to her. Anecdotal evidence indicates that this role can often be quite important.
In light of these considerations, many contemporary authorities permit a husband to attend childbirth, at least when his wife requests his presence. The sensitivity to the psychological needs of a woman giving birth is deeply rooted in Chazal. The Gemara (Shabbat 128b) presents the following rule:
We assist a woman to give birth on Shabbat, and for her sake we desecrate Shabbat... as our Rabbis taught: If she requires a light, her friend must kindle a light for her.... Regarding a blind woman in labor, we might think that since she cannot see, it would be forbidden to light a candle at her request [on Shabbat]. This passage comes to inform us that we set her mind at ease [and light the candle for her].
Based on this passage, both Rav Moshe (Teshuvot Igrot Moshe, Orach Chaim 1:131) and the Chazon Ish (Igrot Hachazon Ish 1:141) permit husbands to accompany their wives by car on Shabbat to the hospital. The paramedics and doctors take care of her medical needs, while the husband helps keep her mind at ease, contributing towards a safer delivery. The Talmud Yerushalmi (Shabbat 14:3, cited in Nishmat Avraham, Yoreh De'ah 195:3) also indicates that there is a connection between one's emotional state and one's physical health. In fact, nearly all contemporary authorities recognize that mental illness can be just as life-threatening as physical illness (see Contemporary Halakhic Problems 2:299).
Conclusion
Many authorities discourage the husband's presence in the delivery room. Nevertheless, if the need is great enough, nearly all authorities permit the husband to attend childbirth. In such a situation, he should avoid physical contact with his wife after she becomes a nidah and may not watch the actual birth. May God bless His nation with many healthy children.